Infinite Diversity
by Aussie73
Summary: In a parallel universe, what could have happened during and after first contact between humans and Vulcans?
1. The Captain's Table I

TITLE: Infinite Diversity

**CATEGORY:** Romance, AU, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

**PAIRING**: Original characters

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of the Star Trek characters, nor do I own the characters that appear in the Captain's Table interludes. I also don't own the Captain's Table concept — merely borrowed it as a stage for this little tale.

**SUMMARY:** In a parallel universe, what might have happened during and after first contact between humans and Vulcans?

* * *

**1 — The Captain's Table I**

_**Personal Log, Stardate 56856.6. It has been several weeks since the failed attack planned by Shinzon and the Remans. The people of Romulus remain keen to pursue normal relations with the Federation and, to that end, I have ordered Captain Riker to travel to Romulus to begin negotiations with the new Senate. In the meantime, I have the difficult job of cheering up an old friend.**_

Admiral Kathryn Janeway sipped at her tea with a sigh. For six months after the return of her ship, the _USS Voyager_, from seven years in the Delta Quadrant, she'd drunk enough coffee — real coffee — to sink a Borg Cube. She'd actually sickened herself on the stuff, and had switched to tea.

Her companion, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, commanding officer of the _USS Enterprise_, looked up from his own tea. "I still miss him, Kathryn," he said.

Janeway had lost crew herself during her long Starfleet career and sympathized fully with the Captain. Lieutenant Commander Data, Starfleet's only android officer, had sacrificed himself to prevent the _Scimitar_'s thalaron weapon being engaged. "He was a good man," she said.

Picard smiled wryly. "Whether he was good or not isn't the issue," he said. "He was a man, and one of my greatest friends."

Janeway pushed away her tea and looked out at the vista. Although every element on the vacation planet was controlled by computer, it had a beauty that could make grown men weep. "Come, Jean-Luc," she said, getting up. "I think we should go somewhere and toast Data's memory properly." He didn't move. "I could make that an order, Captain," she said mock threateningly.

"I'm at your mercy, Admiral," he replied lightly. "Far be it for me to disobey a direct order."

Janeway raised an eyebrow, recalling some of Picard's confrontations with the Admiralty. They'd become the stuff of legend amongst the lower ranks, and she was not so far away from her own days as a Captain that she couldn't sympathize. "If you say so," she said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

They walked along the wharf in silence, Picard no doubt preoccupied with the events of several weeks previously. The _Enterprise_ was still in spacedock, undergoing extensive repairs under the supervision of Commander La Forge and the new First Officer, Commander Madsen.

Janeway had met Geordi La Forge shortly after his promotion to Chief Engineer and again two weeks ago, and had been dismayed by the difference in him. He was usually a sunny-hearted and engaging fellow, with a ready smile. Now, although the entire command crew had been hit hard by Data's … death, he had felt it the most. He'd reached out to Data during their first days on the Enterprise, and helped him in his quest to become more human.

Picard stopped and stared at a small tavern with a sign in Risian. It translated in Standard to The Captain's Table. "I've been here before," he said. "But it wasn't on Risa."

Janeway smiled, remembering her own visit to the Captain's Table on a no-name planet in the Delta Quadrant. "I would imagine every captain in history has made his way here, Jean-Luc," she said. "And Captain Riker will soon join the ranks."

She pushed open the door, feeling that strange tingling sensation that had accompanied her previous entrance into this pub. "Shut the door!" a female Klingon snarled, disentangling her hand from that of a human's — a dark-haired male about Janeway's own age. Startlingly handsome and dressed in an old-style Starfleet uniform, he looked familiar to Janeway, but she couldn't place him.

"I'm shutting it, Hompaq," Picard declared with a small smile — they'd evidently met before.

He barked out something in Klingon and Hompaq grinned savagely at him. "I like humans," she said, slapping the male soundly on the shoulder. "You have a lot of energy for such a frail species."

Her companion's cheeks pinkened. "Well," he said, clearing his throat, "I'd better get going." He looked toward the door. "2266 awaits me, doesn't it?"

Hompaq tilted her head. "Yes," she said. "_CHEGH-chew jaj-VAM jaj-KAK._"

"Uhm … thanks," said the man. "I think." He walked toward the door, nodding to Janeway and Picard. "Captains," he said, then opened the door and left.

"Captain Janeway! And Picard! It's been a long time!"

The big voice belonged to Cap, the owner/bar-tender, and Janeway turned to him. "Hello, Cap," she said. "Two Saurian brandies, please."

"Coming right up."

As Cap poured the drinks, the door opened once more, and an elderly female walked in. Although dressed in Vulcan fashion, she seemed human. The woman breathed in deeply. "This brings back memories, T'Pol," she said.

Who was T'Pol? Janeway looked around, but could see no-one accompanying the new arrival. The woman looked around also. "T'Pol?" she inquired quietly.

Janeway took the drinks over to where Picard was sitting, then headed over to the woman. "Live long and prosper," she said, raising her hand in the Vulcan salute. "And welcome to The Captain's Table."

"Peace and long life," the woman said, raising her own hand. A ruby ear-ring glinted in her right ear. "My companion has gone missing."

"She's quite safe," Cap boomed out. "Only captains are given admission to this tavern."

The woman tilted her eyebrows, but did not react beyond that. In spite of the initial outburst and her human appearance, she'd evidently absorbed a great deal of the Vulcan discipline. "I see," she said evenly. "I would like … an Altair water, please," she said.

"The price of a drink is a story," Hompaq called out. "But I doubt Vulcans have enough passion to tell a good story."

"Your attempt to goad me will not work," the mysterious woman replied. The eyebrows went up again. "You are … Klingon," she added.

Hompaq bared her teeth. "I am," she said. "You're human!" she exclaimed. "Why do you wear the garb of the passionless Vulcans?"

"That's a long story," the woman said with a small smile of mischief.

* * *

_This is my first Star Trek fic, so if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. Thank you!_


	2. The Conspiracy

**2 — The Conspiracy**

April 4, 2063:

In the harsh light of the Montana sunshine, I could see the destruction caused by … well, whoever it was they'd done a lot of damage, killing a whole bunch of people.

"Goddam ECON," someone muttered from behind me. "How the hell did they find out about the _Phoenix_?"

Turning round, I beheld Zefram Cochrane — lanky, unshaven and slovenly. "The ECON?" I said, not able to credit it. During the 'war to end all wars', they'd wiped out most of the major cities, but this latest attack … it had been brutal, efficient, yet had almost seemed impersonal, as if human lives were somehow irrelevant. "It's not exactly their style — they always took prisoners from what I remember." I'd only been a kid during the war, and a lot of the memories had passed into the depths of my subconscious.

Zee snorted, raising his omnipresent flask to his lips. He took a noisy slurp of the noxious brew that passed as alcohol in these parts. "It's exactly their style," he grumbled. "They musta found out I was plannin' on launchin' soon." He put his hands on his skinny hips and raised his eyes heavenward. "Why the hell does everythin' happen to me?" he mourned.

"Oh, geez," I grumbled. "Don't waste my time," I added, impatient with the guy. He was an egomaniac who acted like he was the only one with problems. "You'd better check on the _Phoenix_ — whoever attacked was aiming for the silo."

"The hell with the _Phoenix_," he mumbled, the manic light in his eyes a clear give-away — he was drunk again.

"Then the hell with you, too," I shot back. I walked away from him, away from the shell-shocked residents of this pitiful encampment, and headed toward the missile silo.

I passed several dead bodies along the way, but didn't spare them more than a cursory glance. Even before the war, I'd kept my distance from people — I seemed to be attuned to whatever they were feeling and it had caused me a lot of distress as a little girl until I'd learned to block it out. As a result, I'd never gotten close enough to anyone to be personally affected by their demise.

I made my way into the network of tunnels that led to Zee's ship — the one he said would go faster than the speed of light. Personally, I didn't believe it was possible, but then again, quantum physics was somewhat over my head.

Far ahead of me, I saw two strange men, both pale and dressed like us, approach the _Phoenix_. The bald one — a handsome, aristocratic-looking man — stroked the hull plating. I felt something … odd coming from him — pride, even awe, maybe? The other one, though … I couldn't get anything from him. Usually, I could feel something, even if I couldn't understand the emotion. It was almost like he wasn't … human.

But before I had the chance to approach them, Lily — Zee's long-time cohort — started shooting at them.

"Hold your fire!" the bald man called out in what sounded like a British accent. Not ECON, then. "We're here to help!"

"Bullshit!" Lily hollered and fired again.

Suddenly, I'd had enough. All the deaths, all the suffering of the last dozen or so years, and now Lily was about to off two more. I couldn't watch and fled from the silo.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Heaving for breath, I leaned against a tree, trying to quell the urge to throw my guts up. I was unsuccessful and fell to my knees, gasping and retching.

A hand touched my shoulder. "Are you all right?" a female voice asked me. There was a hint of some exotic accent, indicating that she was not a local, so I turned round cautiously.

The newcomer was dark-haired and dark-eyed, and there was … definitely something different about her. "I'm … okay," I managed to get out, and lurched to my feet.

Her dark eyes narrowed and she nodded to her companion — a taller strawberry-blonde with bright blue eyes. "Beverly," she said.

"I'm a doctor," the one named Beverly said, taking a weird-looking device out of her pocket. She pointed it at me and it whirred merrily.

I backed off a step. "Scanner?" I said. "I doubt you'll be able to find my records — the FBI building was one of the first to go during the nukes."

"A mild case of theta radiation poisoning," Beverly said, choosing to ignore my paranoid ranting. "Were you in the complex?"

_Theta radiation. Zee's warp ship. Lily._ These thoughts shot through my brain. I turned back to Beverly and her companion. "If you're really a doctor, you'd better get to the silo. There are people in there."

I felt the warm concern radiate from both females and flinched instinctively — a knee-jerk reaction to strong emotions. To mask my reaction, I pointed in the direction of the silo. "It's over there."

"Thank you," the dark female replied warmly, aiming a beautiful smile at me.

Startled, I smiled back at her, then moved away before I could enjoy the interaction too much. Never mind about these mysterious strangers — I had work to do, a town to help rebuild.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I wandered into the Crash & Burn an hour or so later, needing something to drink. I went over to the bar-tender. "Jimmy, get me a bottle of water," I said to the uncle-like guy with snow-white hair and a Father Christmas beard.

I winced as Zee cranked up the volume on the jukebox, wondering where Lily had disappeared to. She usually wasn't far away from him. The beautiful dark-haired woman I'd met earlier was sitting near him, staring disconsolately into a glass of the local moonshine, or maybe tequila I amended, as the smell hit my nostrils.

Zee played air guitar vigorously, then sat down with a thump next to the woman. He slid an arm around her. "You're pretty cute, Deena," he slurred, "but you're nuts if you think I'm gonna believe your story."

"It's true," Deena said with obvious exasperation, also slurring her words.

Zee just shrugged and wandered off again.

A tall man with a beard and bright blue eyes walked in. "Deanna!" he shouted above the blaring of the jukebox. She didn't appear to hear him. "Deanna!" he hollered again, then leaned down to the plug and yanked it free of the power supply.

Deena — or Deanna, whatever her name was — turned to him in dismay. "Will; no! Don't turn off the …!"

Too late; Zee threw a half empty bottle of tequila at him and it shattered. "Who told this jerk he could turn off my music?" he inquired thickly.

The woman ran a hand through her hair and pasted on a bright smile. "Will Riker … Zefram Cochrane."

Zee certainly hadn't wasted any time getting friendly with her, I mused. He wobbled over to the woman and sat down next to her. "Friend of yours?"

"Yes."

"Husband."

"No," she said.

Zee grinned maniacally. "Good," he replied. He picked up her glass and dumped the contents, then refilled. "Now this, Deena …".

"Deanna," she corrected, and I could feel both her exasperation and the newcomer's faint amusement.

"This is the good stuff," Zee continued cheerily, and I could feel the shift in his mood.

"Doctor Cochrane …," the beard began — Doctor Cochrane? — stepping up to our resident lunatic.

Zee ignored him and lifted up his glass. "Here's to the _Phoenix_ … may she rest in peace." He emptied his glass with a single gulp, swallowed, then grimaced and pounded the bar with his fist. The woman followed suit — without the pounding, though her expression was even ghastlier than Zee's.

Disgusted, Zee peered at the label, then hurled the bottle over his shoulder to the ground, where it broke. "Okay. That was bad." He rose, and went back around the bar to a secluded storage area.

The woman put her elbows on the bar again and rubbed at her temples. "Will, I think we're going to have to tell him the truth."

The beard — Will, I corrected — glanced warily in Zee's direction. "But if we tell him, the timeline could …".

_Timeline?_, I thought, wondering if I'd heard correctly. I sharpened my senses, glad that I was hidden out of sight.

The woman — Deanna — raised her head and faced him. "This is no time to argue about time … we don't have the time." She frowned suddenly, as if she'd lost her train of thought. "What was I saying?"

The beard grinned, showing wonderful dimples. "You're drunk."

"I am not," she replied with a dignity marred only slightly by a distinct wobble.

"Yes you are." The grin broadened.

"Look," she countered, using her elbows as support and leaning unsteadily toward him, "he wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him, and then it took three shots of something called 'tequila' just to find out he was the one we're looking for. And I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to keep his hands off me, so don't start criticizing my counseling techniques!" She jabbed a finger into his broad chest for emphasis.

"Sorry." He couldn't quite repress a grin.

"It's a primitive culture" — _charming_, I thought acidly although she was probably right — "and I'm just trying to blend in."

"You're blended, all right."

"I already tried telling him our cover story. He didn't believe me."

Who the hell were these people? I wondered if they were connected to those two that Lily had offed in the silo.

"We are getting short of time," Will said. "If we do tell him the truth, you think he'll be able to handle it?"

"If you're looking for my professional opinion as ship's counselor," Deanna pronounced, "he's nuts."

Counselor? A shrink? It had been a long time since we'd seen one of those skull jockeys round this way.

Suddenly, music blared out from the jukebox. Zee beat his fists in the air and stamped his feet drunkenly in time to the music, then gave a little leap and began to play air guitar.

So quietly that only a few could have heard it, there was a gentle thump. The beard turned to face his companion and found her with her face down on the bar, out cold.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several hours later, the area around Zee's missile silo was a hive of activity. A bunch of strangers had shown up and were now helping Zee to fix up his ship. It was typical of Zee to trust them — sometimes his love for science blinded him to the realities of the world.

Not that he seemed comfortable with all the attention. He was particularly unnerved when a tall lanky man stared at him in a starstruck manner and then asked to shake his hand. I felt his emotional stability — not the greatest at the best of times — take another hit when a short dark man tried to console him. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was enough to make Zee disappear.

"Commander; where's Doctor Cochrane?" someone said to the short man. Commander? They were military?

"I have no idea," the man said. "He said that he … needed to take a leak. But that was ages ago."

"A leak?" the woman echoed as if she'd never heard the expression before. Who the hell were these people?

My curiosity got the better of my caution and I approached the two. Although they were dressed like us, they didn't seem like they belonged here. There was a … not naïveté, but a kind of innocence born of ignorance … or blind optimism. "Uh, Commander?" I addressed myself to the short man, who seemed to be in charge. "If I know Zee, he's panicked and taken off." I pointed toward the wooded hills. "He often goes there when he's stressed out."

"Thank you," the man said — these strangers were all so-o-o-o polite. He sighed and slipped his sunglasses onto his nose — presumably to mask his unnaturally pale eyes. "I'd better go find him," he added. "Take over here, Watson."

"Yes, sir," the woman replied. "How d'you propose to find him?" she added curiously.

The Commander tapped his sunglasses. "Elementary, Watson," he said.

I surprised myself once again with a loud guffaw, and both the strangers turned to me. "Excuse me?" the woman said.

I waved a hand in dismissal. "Never mind," I said. Books had all but disappeared since the war, so I wasn't surprised they hadn't gotten that reference.

The man chuckled. "I get it," he said. "I'm quite a fan of Sherlock Holmes myself."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I heaved the remains of someone's Quonset hut onto the trash heap, glaring balefully at all the strangers running around Zee and his Edsel masquerading as a spaceship. "Why couldn't some of them at least offer to help us?" I complained under my breath.

A dark shadow loomed over me. "What would you like me to do?" a man inquired.

Turning round, I beheld the tall, eminently well-proportioned man I'd seen earlier in the Crash & Burn. He looked strong and healthy — in excellent condition for heaving junk onto the trash heap. "Help me with this thing." I gestured to the Quonset hut sidings, which I couldn't manage on my own. Although I was fairly healthy and lean-muscled, I was very small, and felt even smaller next to this colossus.

His eyes twinkled. "Yes, ma'am," he said obediently. He peered at me. "Are you well?" he added.

"Considering that someone tried to kick the crap out of my town last night, and now the military's swarming all over Zee's ship, I'm just great," I replied pointedly.

The man's smile broadened, giving me a flash of those wonderful dimples. "Fair enough," he responded. He dug in a pack and produced a flask. "It's just water," he added, handing it to me. "It's probably not a good idea to drink the river water."

"Well, duh," I muttered, but not too crossly. After all, he was helping me and he was giving me precious water. I wasn't about to trust him, but if he was going to give away water, who was I to say no? That didn't stop me taking a cautious sniff of the contents before a couple of measured swallows. I was thirsty enough to drain the flask, but didn't want to shock my stomach.

"So, what's the big panic with Zee's ship, anyway? Why does it have to be launched today?" I added, handing the flask back to him.

I felt him withdraw abruptly — he evidently didn't want to tell me. Military types. "I'm not at liberty to tell you," he said.

"Well, at least you're honest," I commented. "I suppose it's classified?"

"Precisely," he said, flashing those dimples once more. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

"Okay," I agreed readily. "Do you at least have a name?" I already knew his name, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Will Riker," he replied. "You?"

"Charlie," I said. "Short for Charlotte, but Charlie suits me better."

He looked at me appraisingly in my tough denim trousers and rugged leather jacket, and I could tell he agreed with me. "Don't worry; you won't hurt my feelings," I added dryly. "There's no room for overly sensitive people here."

"I can believe that," he replied.

As we worked, I saw Deanna walk unsteadily out of the Crash & Burn, her eyes narrowed against the bright sunshine as if in some pain. I winced at her discomfort, then forced myself to ignore it as she came closer.

"Will," she said, her hair in disarray and her usually musical tones somewhat muted. "If I ever drink again, just kill me and put me out of my misery."

Will flashed his dimples. "Deanna; this is Charlie," he said.

"We've met," I said. "Where's the redhead gone to?" Silence greeted me. "Okay; so that's another thing you can't tell me," I grunted. "And people don't trust the military — I can't imagine why," I added snidely.

All this military secrecy — it was enough to drive any good old-fashioned conspiracy nut to distraction, I mused in disgust as I worked. And when the hell had any military found the resources to rebuild? Nearly every country in the world had been drawn into the war; only a few of the poorer countries like Russia having had the good sense to stay neutral.

Then there was all their talk about the timeline and Zee not buying their cover story. Could they possibly be from a different time? I'd heard weird tales about a huge futuristic spaceship visiting Earth in the late 1960's, but had put it down to the alien conspiracy nuts having a field day.


	3. The Aliens Are Coming!

**3 — The Aliens Are Coming!**

I stood amongst the crowd outside the Crash & Burn, watching as the amazing, beautiful spaceship descended from the atmosphere. The legs of the ship lowered and it landed gently on the ground, kicking up hardly any dust. The spaceship was a model of elegance, especially in comparison to the _Phoenix_, which after all was a converted Titan V missile.

I moved quietly away from the crowd, feeling the weight of their emotions too much to cope with, and made my way to the side of the spaceship. Were humans really ready for living proof of extra-terrestrials? We were still recovering from World War Three, and we'd nearly succeeded in bombing ourselves into oblivion.

There'd been those rumors in the 20th century about aliens called 'Fren-gee' being held at Area 51 in New Mexico, but no-one with any sense had given those rumors any serious thought. Besides, any alien who landed here would probably just end up being dissected.

I looked at the spaceship, admiring its lines and rich red color. Words appeared in a strange angular script on its side — the name of the ship, perhaps? Did they think like us? Or, more correctly, did we think like them?

The hatchway opened and a figure emerged from the craft. Wearing long, elaborate robes with a hood, he was definitely not human, but not so alien as to be unacceptable. In fact, upon closer examination, he was very handsome, with coal black hair, a strong chin and eyebrows that swept upward.

He removed his hood, to reveal elegantly-pointed ears, somewhat like a leprechaun's. However, his dignified carriage and aristocratic bearing ensured that he carried them off well, and he didn't look at all ridiculous.

Zee — for once, looking sane — squeezed Lily's hand for moral support, then left the group and approached the alien.

The man … alien … whatever … stepped off the ramp and held up his fingers and thumb to form two vee signs. "Live long … and prosper," he said in flawless English. He had a wonderful speaking voice, and it made me wonder what he could do with Shakespeare.

Zee tried to imitate the gesture, but gave in and presented his hand for a good old-fashioned hand-shake. "Uh … you too," he said.

I felt the alien's discomfort but as soon as the emotion appeared it was suppressed. This being had come who knew how many light years to get here, and he wasn't going to let our strangeness stop him from meeting us.

I liked that. After so many centuries of humans knocking seven kinds of hell out of each other for the crime of simply being different, it was nice to meet a being who embraced the notion of diversity.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I hovered outside the Crash & Burn, watching the aliens — now three of them — sip politely at the moonshine while Zee talked a mile a minute. Nice people, but extremely uptight by human standards. Although they seemed interested in us, and wanted to help us, they had yet to crack a smile. Yet for all that, they didn't seem stiff-necked … just different.

Several minutes earlier, Zee had assaulted their ears with his 20th century rock 'n' roll, but he'd realized quickly enough that perhaps that wasn't the best way to do first contact. Now, they were sitting round learning about each other's differences and similarities.

I made my way into the Crash & Burn and headed for the bar, wanting to learn more about these aliens — Vulcans, I corrected — but not wanting to be bombarded by Zee's erratic emotions. I leaned over the bar and grabbed a bottle of water — I was not a drinker — and sat down, listening to the conversation with great interest.

Zee looked up from his drink — untouched by a miracle — and waved at me. "Charlie!" he called. "Come join us!"

Shoring up my shields, I made my way over, and sat down next to the handsome Vulcan who'd first greeted Zee. "Welcome to Earth," I said politely, not attempting to shake hands.

The man dipped his head. "Thank you," he replied.

"What made you pass through this way?" I asked. "As I understand our star charts, this planet's a bit off the beaten track for casual travelers."

"Charlie!" Zee said, sounding mortified. "Mind your own damn business!"

The Vulcan lifted an eyebrow. "Curiosity is not a flaw, Doctor Cochrane," he commented. He turned back to me, his interest evidently engaged by my question. "You are correct … Charlie," he added. "However, we have been observing humanity's progress over the last century. When we detected the _Phoenix_'s warp trail and realized that you had learned how to travel faster than the speed of light, we decided that the time was right to make contact."

"You think we've made progress?" I blurted out. "All I've known is war, deprivation and misery."

"You have shown that you are ready to accept the possibility of intelligent life other than your own," the female Vulcan replied. "We will not make contact with sentient species that have not achieved a certain level of development, as it may … do more harm than good."

I nodded my head. "Yeah; I suppose so," I said. "We've gotten over some of our problems, but we've got a long way to go yet."

The Vulcan male lifted his eyebrow again — I loved that gesture. "You may have a long way to go, but you acknowledge this." He nodded toward my water. "You do not consume alcohol … Charlie?"

"No," I said. "My dad … drank a lot, so I've got that whole codependency thing to work out." God only knows what was making me bare my soul to a complete stranger, but something told me that this alien would not judge me.

By now Zee had moved away and was chatting to Lily — if the conversation wasn't about him, he really wasn't interested — leaving me and the three Vulcans at the table. It would seem natural to assume that I was overawed by this experience, but the truth was that these beings were remarkably easy to interact with. I wasn't bombarded by stray emotions, and they were intelligent and very restful at the same time. What was not to like?

"I am curious," the Vulcan female said.

"Shoot," I said.

The eyebrow quirked upward. "Shoot?" she repeated.

"Sorry; human slang," I said rapidly. "I just meant go ahead."

"I see," the female responded. "Everyone we have met so far has greeted us with this hand-clasping ritual. Why have you not done the same?"

I shrugged and took a gulp of cool water. "It struck me that you were uncomfortable with it, so why make you do it? If we're going to be part of a larger galactic community" — strange words, those, for a species who'd taken such pride in their solitude for so long — "then we're going to have to realize that people have different customs to us."

The handsome Vulcan male — I'd learned from gossip that his name was Sutak — raised an eyebrow. "Vulcans do not express their emotions," he commented. "You must learn not to project your own emotions onto others."

I frowned at the rebuke — albeit mild. "You may not express your emotions, but you have them all the same," I pointed out snippily. Something about these people emboldened me to add. "I felt something from you when Zee stuck his hand out at you. It was buried quickly, but you were definitely uneasy."

Sutak raised both his eyebrows. "You are very observant, Charlie," he said. "Humans do have the potential for a limited extra-sensory perception, but this is the first evidence we have seen of it."

"ESP?" I shook my head. "I can't read people's minds or predict the future. I just … seem to be sensitive to emotions."

"And this … troubles you?" the female asked.

"Wouldn't it you?" I said. "Imagine being constantly battered by other people's emotions — I had to learn to block it years ago, otherwise I would've gone nuts." I sighed and slumped into my seat. "It's very tiring my curse. But you three are different … you're very restful."

"Charlie," Sutak said gently — maybe even compassionately — "you are not cursed. The name for your ability is empathy. Many species have this ability to varying degrees and, like you, have learned coping techniques."

"Well, it's nice to know I'm not a freak," I said lightly, uncomfortable with the tears that had sprung to my eyes at their instant acceptance. "Anyway, how about a bit of reciprocity? Why are you so uncomfortable with touching people? Was it just Zee? I know he comes across like a lunatic, but he's essentially harmless."

The three Vulcans exchanged glances, then Sutak dipped his head. "Vulcans are touch-telepaths," he informed me. "We have the ability to read people's thoughts when we come into physical contact with them."

"Whoa." I slumped backward as I realized what Sutak must have gone through having touched so many people over the last few hours. "And I thought I had it bad. How d'you cope?" Then I slapped my forehead, chagrined at my own stupidity. "Duh; you just told me. You have your coping techniques and you suppress your emotions."

The Vulcans exchanged glances again, making me think that maybe they didn't need to touch to communicate telepathically with each other. The female and other male stood up. "We must return to the _T'Plana-Hath_, Commander," the male said.

"Of course," Sutak replied. "Send a subspace message to the High Command and inform them that I will be submitting a full report within the day."

"_T'Plana-Hath_," I repeated, letting the alien syllables dance over my tongue and mangling the words horribly no doubt. "Is that a person's name? We sometimes name our vessels after famous people. You do the same?"

"Indeed," Sutak said as the other two left the Crash & Burn. "T'Plana-Hath is a matron of Vulcan philosophy. She said that logic is the cement of our civilization with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide."

I was impressed by this. After centuries of humanity giving in to their baser instincts, the idea of reason and logic appealed to me. "It takes a strong man to follow logic," I said. Then I sighed heavily. "You really are very different to us. Why would you want anything to do with us?"

If my incessant questions were annoying him, he gave no sign of it. Instead, he took a gizmo from his cavernous pocket and pushed at some buttons. It looked like early 21st century technology — when handheld electronic organizers had been popular — but much more sophisticated. A symbol appeared on the screen — a silver circle with a simple gold three-dee triangle protruding an angle. The angular script appeared underneath. "Huh?" I said blankly. "I don't read Vulcan."

"I will render this into your language," Sutak said, and tapped at more buttons. Immediately the script changed to five words: Infinite Diversity In Infinite Combinations. "This and logic are the tenets of Vulcan civilization," he informed me.

"Words to live by," I commented, and clinked my bottle against the Vulcan's barely touched glass. "Here's to infinite diversity," I added.

He raised his eyebrow. "Indeed," he replied.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was now more than a week since the Vulcans had landed, and we'd met nearly all of them from the ship by this point. However, I still found that Sutak was the most approachable of them. Maybe it was his calm logic that soothed me, but I couldn't deny that I found him physically and intellectually stimulating too. As a result, I was very careful not to touch him — he would only be made uncomfortable by my growing attraction. I wasn't ready to call it love, yet — he was from a different species, for pete's sake! — but the attraction couldn't be denied.

I stepped out of my Quonset hut as I saw Sutak standing there. For the last few days, we'd met and gone walking in the woods. I'd learned that Vulcan was a desert planet, and the rich vegetationhere was something of a curiosity to him. "Good morning," I said politely.

"Good morning," he replied.

"Have you heard from the High Command yet?" I asked, falling briskly into step beside him as we made our way up the hill. His ship's doctor had treated me for the radiation poisoning I'd gotten from the _Phoenix_'s damaged throttle assembly, and I felt better than I had in years.

"Indeed," he said. "My report was received favorably, and we have been authorized to pursue further relations with your people."

"That's good," I said. "At least it means I get to enjoy your company for a while longer." I blushed and could have kicked myself. "I mean; emotionally, you're like a still pond for me. It's very restful. And you make me think. I've missed good conversation — since the war, everyone's priority has gone into pure and simple survival."

He cocked his eyebrow. "You are an intelligent being, Charlotte," he said. I usually resented being called by my full name, but it sounded right coming from the austere Vulcan. "In many ways, you would make an acceptable Vulcan."

"Thank you."

He dipped his head. "Some humans would not consider that a compliment," he pointed out with unfortunate perspicacity. Sutak and his colleagues were sorely misunderstood by a few of us. Their reserve was taken as superciliousness, and their understandable reluctance to give us technology was resented by Zee and his cronies, who wanted everything to happen right now.

"I choose to take it in the spirit it was intended," I said. "Besides, if you and the rest of your crew are typical of your species, then I like Vulcans."

"Thank you, Charlotte," he replied solemnly.

"Some Vulcans wouldn't consider that a compliment," I said slyly.

The eyebrow tilted again, and a gleam came into his eyes — that little twinkle that indicated amusement. It was very faint, but I'd gotten to know him pretty well the last few days. "I choose to take it in the spirit it was intended," he said. Just a couple days ago, he would've stated didactically that he wasn't capable of taking compliments. His sense of humor was coming out.

"Sutak." I paused suddenly. "I was reading that Vulcan literature you gave me last night about the Surakian movement. What happened to the splinter group? Did they recant?"

Sutak looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "They did not," he said. "They left Vulcan more than two thousand years ago and colonized two planets at the other end of the quadrant. They have a violent and emotional culture, with a martial philosophy."

"Sounds like most of humanity," I said, regretting my question. "You should just tell me to mind my own business if I go too far," I added.

"It would not be logical for me to resent honest curiosity," he replied. A beeping from his pocket indicated that someone was trying to call him. He removed a small com-con and flipped the mesh covering open. "Sutak," he said.

A short conversation followed, in Vulcan of course, then Sutak closed the com-con and put it back in his robe. "Forgive me, Charlotte, but I must curtail our walk today. My presence is required on the _T'Plana-Hath_."

"Okay," I said casually. "Another time, perhaps?"

A flicker of an unidentifiable emotion skittered over Sutak's face, and was gone just as quickly. "Perhaps you would like to visit the _T'Plana-Hath_," he said. "I would be interested in your views."

"I'm no scientist, Sutak," I replied. "I'm not likely to see anything I understand. Wouldn't … I d'know … Lily or Zee be more suitable?"

"They have visited already," Sutak said. "If humans are to join the galactic community, then it is only logical that all of you see how we live and work."

"You gotta love logic," I replied. "Lay on, MacDuff," I added with a dramatic gesture.

The little twinkle appeared in his dark eyes once again, and I was inordinately glad I'd amused him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I followed Sutak's slim frame up the ramp into the _T'Plana-Hath_ — the first thing I noticed was the heat. "Whoa!" I gasped, fanning my face. "Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk!" It was funny, but visiting this ship was the first thing that made me realize that, although they looked very similar to us, they were actually aliens.

Sutak gave me a peculiar look, then comprehension dawned. "Do you wish to leave the ship?" he asked. "I had forgotten that humans have difficulty with Vulcan temperatures."

"Oh, I like the heat usually," I said quickly. I indicated my jacket, sweater, jeans and heavy boots. "I'm not exactly dressed right, though."

"You may leave your outer garments here while you tour the ship," he said politely.

"I thought you'd never ask," I said. I wriggled out of my jacket, then pulled my sweater over my head, leaving my hair in disarray. For years, I'd been thinking about getting it cut, but I'd never been able to persuade myself into actually doing it. "That's better," I sighed, stretching my arms high above my head.

"You should be more comfortable now," Sutak commented. He nodded toward a very young Vulcan who was striding past, and the young man came over to us. "Setal; this is Charlotte. You will show her around the _T'Plana-Hath_ and answer any questions she may have."

"Yes, Commander," Setal replied. He held up his hand, Vulcan-style. "Live long and prosper," he said.

"Peace and long life," I responded, returning the gesture. Unlike poor Zee, who still hadn't gotten the hang of the greeting, it came very easily to me.

Setal's eyebrow rose in a very similar manner to that of Sutak's, making me wonder if they were related in some way. "You have become acquainted with our customs," he said as Sutak strode away down the corridor.

I watched him go for a second, then turned back to the youngster. Although he looked to be about my age, the longer lifespan of Vulcans probably meant that he was the equivalent of a pre-adolescent. "Some of them," I agreed cautiously. "I don't claim to be any kind of expert. Hell, I could probably study Vulcans all my life and never come close to understanding them."

"I suppose that would be so," he said, his eyes shifting away from me. There was something … odd about this young man. He seemed so edgy for a Vulcan. But, then again, I reasoned, if he was as young as I thought, maybe I was his first alien. All the same, I vowed to keep my senses on alert. Although things had gone well so far, that didn't mean it couldn't all go down the crapper in ten minutes.


	4. Changes

_It's nice to see so many people reading this story, even if not reviewing. My ego is fragile where this story's concerned, so if you think it sucks I'm really glad you're not telling me!_

_Anyhoo! On with the next chapter!_

* * *

**4 — Changes**

Several hours later, I followed Setal onto the bridge of the _T'Plana-Hath_, having taken in all the sights and sounds of the strange vessel. My stomach growled and I pushed at it. "Guess it's time for me to take off," I said. "I doubt you have any human food on board."

"Of course we do not," Setal said, sounding almost … indignant. "Vulcans do not eat the flesh of animals."

"I know," I replied mildly. "I'm vegetarian, too. But what about allergies? Something harmless to you could kill me."

Setal quirked an eyebrow. "Your logic is impeccable," he said.

"I have my moments," I shot back with a reluctant grin. We'd gotten used to each other over the last few hours, and his unease around the odd human had receded. We'd even traded stories from our childhood, although his had been much better than mine.

I looked out of the forward viewscreen and watched as Zee stumbled out of the Crash & Burn, Lily dragging him almost by the collar. She had a preternatural patience with him, that one, and it made me wonder what she saw in him. Although hardened by the privations of post-war life, she was a lovely woman, with rich dark skin and huge chocolate eyes. "Oh, geez, he's wasted again," I grumbled.

Setal nodded. "He does appear to have an unfortunate predilection for alcoholic beverages," he agreed.

"He's an alky," I grunted in annoyance.

The eyebrow shot up again. "I believe I said that already."

This polite bluntness — an undeniable oxymoron — was very refreshing and I chuckled. "You're a riot, Setal."

He appeared confused. "I was not attempting to be humorous, Charlotte," he said. "However, if you choose to ascribe that motive to my words, that is your prerogative."

"I'm not trying to insult you, or ascribe human feelings to your words," I said quickly, my face flushing as I realized my quite innocent gaffe. It was funny; I'd avoided strong emotions all my life and now, when interacting with a people who controlled their emotions strongly, I felt them bubbling out of me. "And I'm sorry; this is all pretty new to me."

"I understand," Setal said. He regarded me steadily. "You appear to be handling this new chapter in your people's history with extraordinary equanimity."

"Well, you either cope with things or you run away," I replied. "Besides, considering how this first contact business could have gone, this is a day at the beach."

His quizzical look prompted me to explain, "Over the last century and a half, writers and movie-makers have made billions from fiction about alien invasions. And there's a lot of prejudice in humans — we tend to assume people who think differently to us are some kind of threat." If nothing else, the war against the ECON brought America, Australia and most of the Europeans together. Our common enemy united us like nothing else could.

By this time, Lily and Zee had disappeared — presumably Lily had persuaded him back to his hut to sleep off the hooch. The doors to the bridge whispered quietly open and Sutak entered. "Setal," he said, dipping his head to his young colleague.

"Commander," Setal responded. "I have done as you asked."

"Then you may go off duty," Sutak said. "I will answer any of our guest's questions." As the young Vulcan left the bridge, Sutak returned his attention to me. "It has been several hours — do you require sustenance?"

"I am hungry," I admitted, "but I can wait. Your ship's so amazing — it makes me wonder if humanity will ever catch up."

Sutak did not respond to that, correctly interpreting it as a rhetorical question. During the first days of our … friendship? … he'd been relentlessly literal, but he'd gotten to know my style better. He produced a small item from his utility belt — he'd removed the ceremonial robes upon his return to the ship — and pointed it at me. It whirred and clicked merrily. "Scanner?" I asked.

"A medical tricorder," he replied. "Your human physiology will not be able to tolerate Vulcan coffee, but you should be able to cope with our other products." He put the gizmo back on his belt. "Would you care to join me for the midday repast? I believe it would interest you to learn more about my people."

"You don't have to sweeten the deal, Sutak," I commented with a grin. "You already know my opinion of you and your colleagues."

His eyebrow shot upward. "Indeed," he replied.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The mess hall of the _T'Plana-Hath_ was as restrained and decorous as the rest of the ship — the only difference being the delicious smells that wafted out of the galley. My nose twitched in delight. "What smells so good?" I asked.

"_Plomeek_ soup — a common foodstuff on Vulcan," my friend replied. "Would you like to try some?" He regarded me thoughtfully. "Coffee is usually the proper accompaniment, but Vulcan coffee would kill you."

"That's okay — I don't like coffee, anyway," I said. "Good old H2O will do for me, thanks." I accompanied him to the galley and accepted a bowl of a steaming orange-colored broth from a very young Vulcan. "If this is as good as it smells, I'll be in heaven," I told her.

The Vulcan woman looked over at Sutak. "T'Pril does not speak English, Charlotte," he said. He addressed the young woman in Vulcan and she dipped her head toward me.

She raised her right hand in the split-fingered Vulcan greeting. "Live long and prosper," she said in Vulcan — by now, I'd learned the Vulcan for this salutation.

I raised my own hand. "Peace and long life," I returned in the same tongue. I felt both Vulcans' surprise, suppressed quickly, but still there. "That's all I know how to say," I told Sutak. "I just thought it was time someone on Earth learned a bit of your language. We can't travel out into the galaxy and expect everyone to speak English. It wouldn't be logical," I added, wishing I could raise one eyebrow.

"Of course," he agreed, not reacting to my teasing. He led me to a table near a viewport; as we passed the tables, I couldn't miss the speculative glances that came my way.

"We don't have to do this if I'm making them uncomfortable," I said. "It's one thing for us to interact out there, but this is your home away from home. I don't want to intrude."

"You are not intruding, Charlotte," Sutak contradicted. "Many of us have had difficulties adjusting to Zefram Cochrane's exuberant nature, and have found that most of the humans we have met have been similarly … emotional. But you are different — in some ways, you are quite Vulcan."

We sat down and he passed me the bowl of soup and a spoon. As he did so, our hands brushed and I was made aware of the dry heat emanating from him — Vulcan blood was much hotter than that of humans. I dipped the spoon into the soup, trying to ignore my growing awareness of Sutak's magnetism, his charisma, and took a cautious sip. I couldn't begin to compare the taste to anything, but it was delicious nevertheless. "This is good," I said, taking a larger spoonful.

"T'Pril is an adequate cook," he returned, sampling his own soup. I smiled in agreement — this was high praise coming from a Vulcan.

Suddenly the deck shuddered and warm amber lights flashed. "Tactical alert," Sutak said. "We must curtail your visit."

"Just a second," I said. I took another swallow of the soup, then got to my feet. "Thanks for the soup and the visit, Sutak. I can find my way off the ship — you go do your job."

"As you wish," Sutak said above the thrumming of the deck. He went over to an intercom unit and activated it. "Sutak to the bridge."

There was no response, and the shuddering of the ship increased. "What the hell …?" I muttered. Something told me this wasn't a drill.

I made my way out of the mess hall and heard the unmistakable sound of weapons fire. _Geez, the ECON haven't detected the Vulcan's arrival and come in to take their technology, have they?_, was the thought that shot through my paranoid brain.

That thought was immediately wiped out when I saw Setal and some other Vulcans charge along the deck, brandishing weapons. So much for pacifists. "Setal? What's going on?" I asked.

I didn't even see it coming. His fist shot out, catching me right in the jaw. I cried out with the shock and the pain combined, and lashed back at him. Although Vulcans were stronger than humans, he hadn't expected me to retaliate and he staggered backward. "Get this human filth off the ship," he snarled, spitting out blood and a tooth. The blood was green, which startled me. Although I knew Vulcan blood was copper-based and not iron, I'd still been expecting red blood.

Two tall Vulcans grasped me by the arms — _not Vulcans_, I thought hazily; their body temperature was cooler. "You're not Vulcans," I managed to get out through the pain in my jaw.

Setal and his cronies exchanged glances. "She knows too much — we cannot let her go," the female said. "Put her in the holding cell with her Vulcan friends."

"What are you?" I asked.

Setal stepped in front of me. "Ask one more question and I will kill you, Earth creature."

"You know something? I believe you," I said as the two not-Vulcans dragged me away.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Hours had passed — God knows how many — and the ship was in flight. There were no windows in the holding cell, but my guess was we'd left the solar system and were on our way to 40 Eridani A — the Vulcan solar system.

I sat by Sutak in our holding cell — I'd yet to see T'Pril or any of the others, but presumed they were being held elsewhere — allowing his head to rest in my lap. He'd been beaten badly by our captors, and had yet to regain consciousness. His handsome face was swollen and bruised, and a vicious cut had closed his right eye.

I passed my hand gently over his brow. "Hang in there," I muttered. "I didn't survive the war with the ECON and the last ten years just to fall prey to some pseudo Vulcans."

As if on cue, his eyes opened and he stared up at me. "Charlotte?" he said.

"That's my name; don't wear it out," I quipped. "We left Earth a few hours ago; Setal and his goons have taken control of the ship." He sat up rapidly, his skin whitening in obvious pain. "Here, carefully," I said. "I know Vulcans don't like physical contact, but at least lean against me."

"I thought you had left the ship," Sutak said, doing as he was ordered nonetheless.

"I was on my way out, but I learned Setal and his friends aren't Vulcan," I told him. "They weren't thrilled when I rumbled them, and they chucked me in here with you. Apparently, I know too much."

"Not Vulcans?" Sutak repeated. "Then … what?"

"How would I know?" I said. "Vulcans are the only aliens I know. But their body temperature was quite a bit cooler than yours."

"Rihannsu," he said, his mind evidently no worse for the beating he had taken.

"How's that?"

"They are a distant cousin species," he said. "We were once one people, but we become sundered at the Time of Awakening."

"Oh, the splinter group," I said, recalling our earlier conversation. "They didn't accept Surak's philosophies, right?"

"They chose to leave Vulcan and colonized two planets in another part of the galaxy. They retained their warrior heritage, and take great pride in it," Sutak returned. "They are not a logical species."

"Their actions may seem perfectly logical to them," I argued. "If they are proud warriors, then they wish to do battle. Your pacifist philosophies will be complete anathema to them."

"Well spoken, young human," came a voice from outside the holding cell.

"Oh, geez; Setal," I groaned. "I didn't think eavesdropping was your style."

He raised an eyebrow — for me, that was immutable proof these Rihannsu were still related to Vulcans, however superficially. "It is surprising what you can learn by operating clandestinely," he said. He scowled at me. "And I will no longer answer to that name. I am Sub-Commander K'trall of the Romulan Star Empire."

"I wish I could say it was nice to meet you," I said. "Tell me something, K'trall; what d'you hope to gain by stealing a Vulcan ship?"

"I will not answer your questions," he snarled.

"Didn't think so," I shot back. I felt my jaw tenderly. "What the hell did you hit me with, by the way? Were you packing a brick or something?"

Setal … K'trall, dammit! … smiled savagely at me. "You humans are an interesting species. I was surprised when Sutak chose to make contact with you. Your people are too … savage for these soft-bellied Vulcans."

"Pacifism and cowardice aren't the same thing, K'trall," I said. "You've spent over a year on this vessel — you must admit that."

"I admit nothing," he said.

I glared at him. "You know something?" I said. "I consider myself a pretty good judge of people, and that's why I don't like most of them. But you … you slipped right under my radar, and that just pisses me off." I could feel myself getting madder and, for once, chose not to suppress it. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't chuck you out of an airlock."

He moved rapidly and pressed the ray-gun to Sutak's temple. "Try to kill me and your friend will die, human," he said, all pretense at civility gone. "You are interesting, but you are not worth the effort." He swung out with a long arm and the last thing I heard was his laughter as I fell to the floor.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I awoke and gazed blearily around at my surroundings. This wasn't my Quonset hut. And who was I with? I'd never been with anyone in my life, preferring to avoid physical contact, so who was I leaning on?

"Charlotte," a male voice said firmly.

"Damn," I muttered. "Can you scream a little quieter?" Then I recalled where I was. "Oh, hell. So it wasn't a really twisted dream, then?"

Sutak's eyebrow crawled up his forehead in his usual Vulcan fashion. "Indeed not," he said. "Are you feeling better?"

"Just peachy," I grumbled, moving away from the warmth of his body reluctantly. Then, recalling his injury, "How about you? If I recall, they knocked seven kinds of shite out of you earlier."

If Sutak was puzzled at this expression, he gave no evidence of it. "I placed myself in a deep healing trance," he informed me. "This enabled me to deal with the worst of my injuries, and my health is naturally excellent."

"D'you know what's happened to the rest of the crew?" I asked. "Could they be dead?"

"Unlikely," Sutak replied. "Although the Rihannsu consider themselves our enemy, they find no honor in killing unnecessarily."

"All death is unnecessary," I commented. "Besides, what's so honorable about posing as Vulcans to steal a ship?"

"That's a very good question, my dear," K'trall's silky voice said. "Sometimes, however, it is necessary to operate covertly to achieve one's aims. For instance, you can claim a significant advantage over your fellow humans simply by not telling them you have empathic abilities."

"How'd you find out?" I said. "I thought the Rihannsu had sacrificed the Vulcan mind powers for the warrior ethic."

"Always searching for answers, hmm?" K'trall asked mockingly. "I see no harm in telling you; some Romulans are being born with varying telepathic abilities. After all, the diaspora was a very short time ago, in terms of evolution."

I was no student of evolution, so I took his word for it. "That seems … logical," I replied maliciously. "How come you didn't slug me again simply for asking a question?"

"It was a question worth answering," K'trall said. "Do you believe you are typical of your people, little one?"

Ignoring the patronizing tone, I shook my head. "Well, I haven't met all of my race, but I doubt it. You can't meet a few representatives and judge the whole race. For instance, I could assume all Rihannsu are thieves, spies and butchers, but they won't be. Most of them will have families, children playing in the streets, leading normal lives. It's the same with humans."

K'trall smiled — an odd thing to see on such a Vulcan-like face. "You will have the chance to find out soon enough," he said. "We will be entering Romulan space within seventy two of your Earth hours." He stepped into the holding cell and came up to me. "I understand you have never left your own planet before."

"I wish this was under better circumstances," I replied. "I've always been interested in other cultures, but you're just pissing me off. Don't try to be nice to me; it doesn't suit you." I stood up, using Sutak's shoulder for leverage, and glared at the Rihannsu.

K'trall laughed softly, chillingly. "I admire your fire, young human, although I would prefer to be addressed as Romulan, not Rihannsu." He glared at Sutak, who stared back impassively. "That is the Vulcan name for us."

"Bite me," I shot back. Not the wittiest remark I'd ever made.

"An appealing — and arousing — idea," K'trall commented. He ran his ray-gun down my bare arm. "You have excellent spirit — you will make an admirable consort."

"Be someone's whore? I don't think so."

He smiled. "Do not worry, my dear. Romulans can be tender, especially with those who share our beds. You would be fed, housed, and dressed beautifully." His eyes ran lustily over me. "You would look well in jewels and silks."

I bared my teeth. "I'll see you dead first," I said.

He laughed again. "I doubt that," he replied. "Romulans are much stronger than humans. I could kill you right now with my bare hands."

"Of course you could," I agreed readily, causing his eyebrows to shoot upward. "Doesn't mean I wouldn't try to fight you. I'm not a good fighter, but it's amazing what desperation can do."

He expelled a short burst of air through his teeth and glanced over at one of his goons. "Perhaps we should hand this one over to the _Tal Shiar_," he said.

I recognized those Vulcan words; the _tal shaya_ was some kind of strangulation or neck-breaking used before the Time of Awakening for assassinations. "You think I'm scared of your secret police?" I said, bluffing for all I was worth. Any society as bombastic as the pre-Awakening Vulcans would have retained their strong military and policing ethos.

Amazingly, he fell for it. "How do you know of the _Tal Shiar_, human?" he asked. "Even the Romulan people do not know of it."

"Of course they don't," I said reasonably. "It wouldn't be much of a secret if the general public knew about it. My guess is you actually work for them, and not the military."

A gleam of admiration appeared in the Rihannsu's eyes. "You are good, Charlotte," he said. "Your empathic skills have strengthened immeasurably over the last ten days. I am Major K'trall of the _Tal Shiar_."

He turned swiftly to his goons and leveled a burst of laser fire at them. They fell to the floor, dead instantly. "No!" I yelled, sick of death. "Why did you do that?"

"No witnesses, Charlotte," he said coldly. "As you said, it would not be much of a secret if the general public knew about it."

"Then you're spying on this military operation?" Maybe I was suicidal, I mused. I certainly seemed determined to get a blast from his ray-gun.

He did not deign to answer my question, instead tugging a com-con out of his pocket. He barked some orders in what was presumably the Rihannsu tongue, and I felt the deck thrumming with the force of the engines. "We've picked up speed," I said.

K'trall stepped out of the cell, nodding to two new goons who had materialized silently, then strode away. "Thanks for the answers!" I yelled sarcastically, then turned back to Sutak, who had watched the entire exchange in silence.

"The guy just offed his own crew," I said, breathing hard. "Is he right in the head?"

Sutak dipped his head. "If he truly works for the _Tal Shiar_, then he is an enemy of the military," he said. "Like any covert organization, the _Tal Shiar_ works outside of the law."

"What's happening now? Why have we picked up speed?"

Sutak appeared reluctant to tell me what was going on, then he gave in. "We are currently passing through a region of space claimed by a race called the Andorians. We have an uneasy neutrality, and they will not be pleased to see the Vulcan flagship in their space."

Suddenly the ship was buffeted from all sides and I yelped — I was hardly a seasoned space traveler, after all. "Are we under attack?" I said, recalling the attack on the missile silo by that unknown faction.

"We are," Sutak replied. "Andorians like the Rihannsu even less than they like us. They consider it a matter of principle to shoot down any vessel with Rihannsu life signs in it." He had not finished being admonitory, though. "I must question why you are being so … provocative, however."

I smiled. "It's as near to warrior psychology as I can get," I said. "Snarl first and loudest, and never let up, and the alpha male will fall over and show you his throat. And certain aspects of K'trall's psyche suggest pack behavior isn't far off the mark."

Sutak still looked dubious. "You were showing dangerous signs of enjoyment."

I laughed slightly. "Of course I was. Anger can be a good release of stress. For species that experience stress, of course." Sutak looked at the ceiling and I smiled. It would be a really bad situation if I couldn't tweak him, even a little.

The ship was buffeted again, accompanied by a peculiar wrenching noise. "Did we just lose some of the hull?" I said.

"We did," Sutak responded. "I estimate we have forty three minutes until hull breach occurs."

That was an estimate? I'd hate to hear pedantry from this guy. He probably thought in decimal places. "Great," I grumbled, pacing around the cell. "My first trip in space is going really well."

"There is nothing we can do whilst trapped in this holding cell," Sutak told me calmly — _does nothing get to this guy?_, I wondered grumpily. "Therefore, there is no logic to your pacing."

"Nervous energy, Sutak," I told him. "I don't deal well with confinement; I'll be climbing the walls pretty soon."

If Sutak had been human, I'm sure he would've grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me down onto the floor by now. However, Sutak was extremely polite … or extremely forbearing. He merely said, "I can teach you a basic Vulcan meditation that will help you focus your energies away from your current situation."

I wasn't usually so nervous, and was therefore pleased at the opportunity to deal with my unusual attack of nerves in a productive way. I sat down next to him. "What do I do?" I asked.

I felt a flash of reluctance from him and wondered what this entailed. "Sutak; what does this involve?" I said cautiously.

The flare of emotion was buried quickly and he looked as cool and composed as ever. "It requires our minds to be in contact. A number of Vulcans practice a ritual known as a mind meld …".

"Say what?" Images from the old two-dees flashed into my mind; aliens sucking out human brains and zombies walking around in the dead of night. "Is that what it sounds like?"

"It is," he said. "If you do not wish to undertake this, I will understand. However, to allay your fears, I will admit to some … trepidation myself. No Vulcan has ever melded with a human."

"Considering you've only known our species less than three weeks, that makes sense," I replied. "But if you're a touch telepath, why would you voluntarily come into contact with me? I'm not exactly in a good place right now."

"Vulcans strive constantly to control their emotions," he said. "I believe you would benefit from learning some of our meditations."

"Maybe I would, but is it logical to expect non-Vulcans to act Vulcan?" I said, looking around at the walls nervously. "Is it me or are those walls closing in on us?" I added.

"It is your imagination, Charlotte," he said. "Do you suffer from claustrophobia?"

"When … my dad was drunk, he used to lock me in the closet so I couldn't run away to my aunt's." I shook my head. "He died a few years ago, but I can't get over the fears he inspired."

I shuddered and looked down at my hands. "I felt … his anger and … his hatred for me — he blamed me for my mother's death. She died giving birth to me," I added, feeling a tear lurking. Why on Earth was I telling this to an unemotional Vulcan of all people? A good thing shrinks were a thing of the past — they'd have carted me off to a psych ward by now.

"Charlotte." Sutak's voice dragged me back from my dark musings. "Whilst I do not pretend to understand what sort of impact your childhood experiences had upon you, I do know you are a very brave and strong young woman. In less than three weeks, you have met another sentient race, learning you are not alone in the universe, and you have accepted our differences with dignity and grace."

I gazed into his calm black eyes, wishing I could simply fall into them, and smiled slightly. "You're a nice guy, Sutak. You have a far greater heart than you'll ever admit."

"It is only logical for you to know the truth about yourself," Sutak said. "Nice is …".

"Oh, for crying out loud, go count electrons or something," I grumbled with a grin. "Why can't you take a compliment gracefully?"

"Pride is an unnecessary emotion," Sutak said. "And an overabundance of pride can cause severe problems."

"An overabundance of any emotion can cause problems," I shot back. "That's why I admire Vulcans so much — you've learned to get past your baser instincts from a culture even bloodier than Earth's, and you've become an intelligent sophisticated people."

He raised an eyebrow. "Your logic is flawless," he said.

Suddenly, I realized that the buffeting at the ship's hull had stopped. Sutak had succeeded in distracting me from my panic. "What's happening now?" I asked.

"It appears that the warp drive has been damaged," he replied. "I am not detecting any movement."

"What's going to happen to us then; if the ship can't get them to …". I paused, realizing that I didn't know the name of the Rihannsu home planet.

"In your tongue, it renders to Romulus," Sutak said. "Based on the known actions of the _Tal Shiar_, which is admittedly very little, we will be deposited on the nearest habitable planet and left to fend for ourselves. Then Major K'trall will forcibly board a passing ship and take it back to the homeworld."

"Charming," I grumbled. "Remind me never to take a trip with Vulcan Airways again."

"It is illogical to blame anyone but the _Tal Shiar_ for what has happened, Charlotte," Sutak said. Was it my imagination, or was he starting to sound testy?

I grinned slightly. "Sorry; just a little joke. Very little, obviously." His blank look prompted me to add, "Stillborn, in fact."


	5. The Captain's Table II

**5 — The Captain's Table II**

The elderly woman pushed the chair to one side and stood up. "Well, all this talking has made thirsty," she said. "May I get you refills, Captains?" she asked politely. She turned her gaze to Hompaq. "More warnog, perhaps?"

For someone who came from the 22nd century — a time that marked humanity's burgeoning hostilities with the Klingons — this woman was dealing with Hompaq's presence extremely well. Of course, living on Vulcan would give her their discipline.

Hompaq bared her sharp teeth. "Of course," she said.

"Coming right up," the woman said — as her story progressed, her English was becoming more colloquial.

Janeway looked at Hompaq curiously. They had not met on Janeway's previous visit, although the Klingon had been there. Yet she seemed … familiar with everyone. Was she from far enough in the future that she knew everyone's lives? "D'you know this woman?" she said. "Is she telling the truth?"

Hompaq bared her teeth once more. "Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you, Admiral," she said. "I am not like that _p'tak_ Guardian."

Janeway didn't get the reference, although it sounded vaguely familiar. She dismissed it in favor of the issue at hand. "Well, even if it isn't true, it's a good story," she said.

Hompaq laughed loudly, causing several heads to turn. "That is just one of the things our people share in common, Admiral, the love of a good story!"

The elderly woman glanced at Hompaq. "Will you join us, Hompaq?" she asked pleasantly.

Hompaq frowned. "Why?" she barked. "I thought you didn't like Klingons?"

"That's not correct," the woman said. "I've met a number of honorable Klingons, and regret the conflicts that have developed between Earth and your people. Besides, I believe this place — whenever it is — makes the conflicts seem petty." She put the drinks on the bar and touched the Klingon's arm. "Do you want me to drag you to our table?"

Hompaq let loose with another rafter-rattling laugh. "Oh, I like you, old woman! I'm very glad the Empire did not annihilate humans!" She grabbed her tankard and sat down next to Picard. "So, continue your story," she demanded.

The old woman's eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. "I think for that I won't," she said. "Maybe I should just leave you all hanging."

Hompaq growled. "Try it and I will personally throw you in the fireplace."

"And I'll help," Picard said, a rare glint of mischief lighting up his patrician features.

"You can try," the woman said, her smile widening. "Besides, I'd guess you're several decades ahead of me in terms of your origins — you'll have many more stories to tell than I." She turned to Janeway and put a gentle hand on her arm. "Don't worry, young woman, I know of this Prime Directive you're thinking about, and even someone from my time understands the sanctity of the timelines. I have no interest in messing up your history."

Hompaq growled again. "I'm not Starfleet; I don't care about the Prime Directive. Tell your story — I'll correct you if you tell lies."

"Hompaq." Cap appeared at the table. "You know what I warned you about with Pike? Try it again and I'll kick you out of here so hard you'll ache for months."

Hompaq looked at Cap, and seemed to be weighing up her chances. Then she snarled, but in a friendly way. "It's a good thing I like you, Cap," she said, punching the man in the upper arm.

The elderly woman smiled serenely. "Now, where was I?" she asked.

"On the _T'Plana-Hath_," Picard reminded her, taking a sip of his brandy.

"That's right," the woman said. "Well, to cut a long story short …".


	6. Strange New World

**6 — Strange New World**

Several days after the engines were killed by these mysterious Andorians, the Vulcans and I were bundled into various shuttlecraft and shot off into outer space.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn none of the Vulcans had been killed by our erstwhile captors. It appeared even the Rihannsu secret police had some qualms about mass killings.

Just before Sutak and I had been ejected, K'trall had offered me the chance to stay with him, as his concubine. My response had been less than pleasant and I wondered whether he was still walking funny. That had settled things for him and me, and he'd slapped me around a bit more before shoving me into Sutak's shuttle.

I shook my hand, which was developing a cramp from the now blunt pencil. I'd started keeping a journal shortly after being stuffed into this baby ship, and found it helped me to vent some of my feelings. Although my friend — for friend he now was — was a very nice guy, calm and reassuring, there were times when I itched to have a good old fashioned argument with someone.

It was an odd wish for me, for I'd always avoided strong emotions like the plague. But now I was deprived of them, I wanted them. I put it down to natural human perversity. We always wanted what we couldn't have. And after we got it, we didn't want it anymore.

Amazingly, those … Andorians had chosen to leave us alone. They could've picked us off any time they wanted, but it appeared they wanted a greater challenge than tiny shuttles that barely went at the speed of light.

"Charlotte; it is oh six hundred hours." Sutak's grave baritone interrupted my musings and I looked up as his shadow fell over me. A beard had come in over the last few weeks and it lent a certain rakishness to his usual elegant good looks.

"Oh, I'm on now." I scrambled up from the bunk and headed over to the flight console. Although I was hardly technically minded, it had been necessary for me to learn the basic principles of flying a warp ship. I couldn't say I was that good at it, but at least I hadn't flown us into any asteroids yet, and I counted that for something.

"Are you well?" Sutak asked me — if I hadn't known better, I would have said he sounded worried. "You appear distracted."

"I could use some air," I admitted. Although necessity had forced me to cope with the confines of this shuttle, which at least was bigger than my Quonset hut, I missed being able to step outside and breathe relatively fresh air. "How soon will we reach 40 Eridani A?"

"If we can maintain current speeds, we will be there in ninety six hours and ten minutes," he rattled reassuringly off of the top of his dark Vulcan head.

I could've kissed him — a very tempting notion. "Then don't worry about it," I said. "I can cope for another few days without totally wigging out on you."

The eyebrow crawled up his forehead. "It is an unproductive use of one's time to worry," he contradicted. "Vulcans do not worry."

"Act concerned, then?" I suggested.

He appeared to accept this emendation. "Humans have never taken extended space flights before — it was logical to be … concerned at how you would handle the isolation."

"Sweet, but not necessary," I said, dabbing at one of the touch pads and veering away from a small comet that appeared hell-bent on mowing us down.

"Indeed," he said. "You have been extremely … stoic."

I smiled at him, even though he couldn't see the gesture. "I learned from the master of stoicism," I teased. "Anyway, I haven't been totally isolated — you've been here the whole time."

Before a moment could develop, the comm board spluttered into life and someone was speaking in Vulcan. "Hey, Sutak, the cavalry's here," I added.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I stepped out of the shuttle into the docking bay of the _Seleya_ — from Sutak's lessons in his language, I knew that was also the name of one of their most sacred mountains. Sutak was at my side, and he nodded politely at the elegant young Vulcan female waiting for us. She lifted up her hand in the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper, Sutak," she said. She dipped her head to me. "Welcome to the _Seleya_, Charlotte," she added.

"Thank you," I replied. I raised my own hand. "Peace and long life," I said in English. I was scared to try out my pidgin Vulcan on this female — I had the feeling she wouldn't be as tolerant of my mistakes as Sutak.

She tilted an eyebrow. "Indeed," she returned. "I am T'Pau; I represent the people of Vulcan in this matter, and wish to convey to you our regrets that you have become involved in this unpleasant history with the Rihannsu."

"I can't say it was exactly the way I wanted to see space, but it could have turned out a lot worse," I replied, liking her immediately. "Have you managed to retrieve all the other shuttles?"

"We have," she said. She looked at me appraisingly. "You appear to be more concerned with the welfare of my people than you are with your own welfare."

"In the grand scheme of things, what's one life compared to an entire ship full of people?" I said. Besides, I'd never expected to live this long.

She dipped her head with a small quirk of the mouth I would learn indicated approval. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," she said.

"Majority rules," I agreed, "as long as the majority doesn't oppress the minority."

She dipped her head once more, then turned her attention to Sutak and spoke to him in rapid Vulcan. I heard mention of my own solar system, and got the feeling they were talking about me. "Umm, excuse me? Not to seem ungrateful, but could you talk to me instead of about me? You said something about the Sol system."

She raised both her eyebrows. "You speak Vulcan?" she asked in that tongue.

"A little," I admitted, also in Vulcan. "Not enough to have a conversation," I continued in English, "but I've got a few phrases down."

"Then I apologize for our inadvertent rudeness," she said. "I was explaining to Commander Sutak that there are no ships leaving for the Sol system for at least six of your months. You will have to stay on Vulcan with us."

Somehow, that threw me more than the idea of being stranded in the depths of outer space had. To be back in civilization — and a civilization far more civilized than that of Earth — was so close, yet so far! I swallowed back my reaction, and replied, "I understand. And thank you. I'll try not to be too big of a nuisance."

"Think of it as an opportunity to learn more Vulcan," Sutak suggested quietly.

I chuckled reluctantly. "Did I mangle your language that badly?" I replied impishly. Sutak was so much fun to tease — watching him nobly resist changing expression was something I relished.

He did not deign to respond — probably knew me too well by now — and I shook my head.

T'Pau addressed us once more. "I have arranged quarters for you both. You will be able to control the temperature so it will suit your human physiology. However, you will not find the same to be so on the homeworld."

"I grew up in a hot climate," I said. "Besides, after everything you've done for me, you think I'm going to bellyache about being warm?"

She raised an eyebrow, but continued. "Your quarters have also been equipped with a water shower. We use sonic harmonies to cleanse ourselves, but I thought you would prefer water."

I tugged at my over-ripe vest and trousers. "I could use a shower," I admitted.

"Indeed," Sutak responded deadpan.

I grinned, but didn't rise. The guy might claim to have no sense of humor, but there was definitely one lurking in there.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several hours later, showered, hair squeaky-clean and looped in soft white bands that matched the Vulcan style robe I now wore, I examined my quarters. Although the _Seleya_ was a smaller ship than the _T'Plana-Hath_, the design was similar. There wasn't going to be much time to get comfortable, however. We would reach Vulcan in less than ten hours — the _Seleya_ being a lot faster than the shuttle — and then T'Pau and her crew were off to another solar system, for the follow-up to another first contact.

I read the details with fascination — Sutak and T'Pau had been kind enough to translate the precise Vulcan script into English. The species was known as Trill and they seemed quite human, except for the reddish-brown markings running down the sides of their face. I looked at the Council member who'd made the initial contact; a young female named Lela Dax. She was perhaps a little older than me, but her eyes seemed ageless. She had an old soul.

A polite chiming interrupted me and I switched the computer off. "Come in," I called, wondering who it could be. Vulcans weren't the type to simply come a-calling. The doors opened to admit Sutak, and I smiled at my own denseness. Of course. "You are rested sufficiently, I trust?" he inquired.

I stretched and yawned. "I'm only human," I deadpanned. "Plus I'm not as healthy as you." I winced as the stretch aggravated the ache in my ribs — K'trall had probably cracked a rib when he'd kicked me.

"You are in pain," Sutak stated.

I shook my head. "It's nothing," I denied. I'd had cracked ribs more than once whilst growing up.

"It is illogical to suffer needlessly," Sutak argued. "There is an excellent medical facility on the _Seleya_. I would recommend you seek their services."

"Oh, really? And has that doctor ever treated a human before?" I asked snidely, his odd testiness getting to me. I'd been getting flashes from him the last couple of days of strange emotions; a heightened tension as well as some warmer thoughts.

Just as suddenly, the tension between us was gone, and I sighed with relief. "I don't want to argue with you, Sutak," I said. "Maybe it's a delayed reaction to what's gone on the last few weeks." I sighed again. "Where will I find this infirmary of yours?"

It had been years since I'd seen a doctor. The war to end all wars had brought back diseases like smallpox, cancer and AIDS — diseases that had been relegated to the medical bin by the thirties — simply because most of the medical practices and hospitals had been destroyed during ground zero. Even before the war, though, my father had been careful not to let me have close contact with any doctors — he didn't want them to find out what he'd been doing to me.

I shuddered at the unpleasant memory, then looked into Sutak's lovely dark eyes. "Okay, okay; I'm going," I grumbled, stuffing my feet into a pair of sandals.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The doctor didn't have much of a bedside manner, but she diagnosed me quickly enough. K'trall had actually broken two of my ribs, and some of my other wounds had become infected. Unfortunately, because T'Prina had never met a human before, she couldn't say whether or not Vulcan antibiotics would work with human physiology.

She said this with extreme gravity, and I shrugged. "I've had worse cuts than these before," I said. "I'll just heal over time."

"You appear somewhat underweight for a female of your age and height," she said. "However, I have no baseline for your species with which to compare you."

"No, that's right," I told her. "We lost half our crops to blight a few months ago, so the adults went onto half rations to protect the kids. So I'm probably a little malnourished." My stomach grumbled. "Speaking of nourishment, d'you have a mess hall on this ship? I could go for some of that _plomeek_ soup you guys do."

She actually stared at me then, and I had the feeling this was the first time she was seeing me as a person rather than a collection of symptoms. "You are familiar with our foods?" she said.

"Well, yeah," I said. "I've spent the last few weeks on a Vulcan shuttle. It was either eat your food or starve to death. I like your _plomeek_ soup, but the one on the shuttle lacked … something."

She dipped her head. "Food dispensers are adequate, but they do not capture the essence of _plomeek_ soup," she said. "I will escort you to the commissary, but you will need more than soup. You are lacking essential proteins also."

"Most proteins humans get come from animals — I'm a strict vegetarian," I said. "I eat beans and lentils, but they're not as protein-rich as meat and cheese."

"Thousands of years ago, Vulcans also ate meat," T'Prina said, waiting patiently as I got off the bed. "We evolved with the need to ingest proteins, and suffered similar problems to you as we adjusted to our current dietary practices."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I sat down near one of the viewports and looked at the sight of the stars zipping past — actually, we were zipping past the stars, but I wasn't about to let accuracy get in the way of poetry. I took a spoon of the _plomeek_ soup, then dipped a biscuit-like bread in. The bread wasn't bad — it reminded me of the sour-dough bread my father used to make. Of course, then he'd act out all the other old Irish stereotypes — start drinking, get maudlin, sing folk songs and berate me for my mother's death.

I shook my head and dunked another chunk of bread into the soup, staring out into space — literally — as I wondered what Sutak was up to. Probably still being debriefed about the Rihannsu incident … already I was learning the Vulcan gift for understatement, I noted with wry amusement.

T'Prina had gone back to the infirmary — I was beginning to realize Vulcans weren't the most sociable of beings — and I was therefore alone. In the past, I'd guarded my solitude fiercely due to my curse, and was unused to feeling lonely.

I looked up as Sutak came in and muttered a fierce curse at the happiness that swept through me. Damn, damn, damn. I did have a thing for the guy.

He went to the galley and helped himself to a regular mountain of vegetables, then came over to my table. "You are feeling better?" he inquired.

I smiled at him, unable to help myself. Because of my childhood and the war, and my strange ability, I'd never gone through the usual teenage crushes, and I was therefore a novice with these feelings. As a result, I was finding them difficult to control. "I am," I said, taking a spoon of the _plomeek_ soup. I pointed to my ribcage. "You know; K'trall actually broke two of these, and T'Prina was able to heal them just like … that!" I clicked my fingers. "I've just got a couple of cuts left and they'll heal soon enough."

"We will arrive on Vulcan in less than five of your hours," Sutak said, making rapid inroads into his mountain of salad. I guess he was as glad as me to be eating real food again, though of course he'd never admit it. "It is … unfortunate you will not be able to return to your home system immediately."

_Yeah, for both of us_, I mused. I didn't want these feelings for him and I knew the Vulcans didn't want some ignorant offworlder on their home turf. "It is," I said mildly. "But that's the way things go. There's no point bellyaching, so I'll just suck it up and get on with it."

Sutak's expression turned quizzical, but he appeared to glean my meaning quickly enough, for he did not query me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The first thing that hit me was the stark elegance of the planet — it reminded me of its people. It was blazing hot, and I was glad of the hood on the white robes I was still wearing. The hood served both to protect me and to hide my distinctly un-Vulcan ears.

"Welcome to my planet, Charlotte," Sutak said smoothly enough, although a certain tension was emanating from him. Understandable, really. Although they'd spent centuries exploring the cosmos, it turns out I was actually one of the first aliens to visit their planet.

I squinted against the glare of the sun and pulled my hood more fully over my head. Despite my dark hair and eyes, I'd inherited my fair skin from my father's side of the family, and it burned easily. "Thanks," I replied. A large mountain loomed in the distance with several small austere buildings dotting it. "Mount Seleya," I mused. "It's gotta be."

T'Pau, standing at my other side, raised an eyebrow. "You are correct," she said. "You have studied our home?"

"A little," I fudged, not wanting to betray my deep fascination with her people — I didn't want to come off sounding like a gushing simpleton.

Sutak shook his head — he knew me too well by now, damn him — and said, "Healthy curiosity is nothing to be ashamed of."

I smothered a grin — as we'd gotten to know each other, his English had become more colloquial, and he was now mangling the grammar with the best of us. "You're right," I said. I turned back to T'Pau, relieved to escape Sutak's piercing black eyes. "I've been doing some reading since I first met Sutak a few weeks ago — I guess it wouldn't be logical to deny my interest in h … your people."

T'Pau dipped her head. "Of course," she replied. Undoubtedly her sharp hearing had caught my little stumble, but she was tactful enough to not call me on it.

A young Vulcan male in heavy gray robes that looked monk-like approached T'Pau. "Live long and prosper, T'Pau," he said. "We were not expecting your return so son."

"Peace and long life, L'Dir," she responded. "There was an incident aboard the _T'Plana-Hath_ and it has been lost." She raised her hand in the traditional Vulcan salute as she turned back to me and Sutak. "I must take my leave of you," she added.

"Indeed," Sutak said solemnly. "We are grateful for your timely intervention." Vulcan for 'thanks for saving our asses'.

The beautiful Vulcan dipped her head to me. "Live long and prosper, Charlotte," she said, and I realized suddenly she was not speaking English. How much Vulcan had I picked up in the last few weeks?

"Peace and long life," I replied in my pidgin Vulcan. I seemed to understand quite a bit of the Vulcan speech, but I wasn't confident enough to start talking a lot.

T'Pau made her way back onto the Seleya and I followed Sutak and L'Dir away from the landing site. It was odd, but I couldn't get any sort of reading from L'Dir. I'd been able to read Sutak and the other Vulcans easily enough, although their emotions had been muted and buried quickly. But L'Dir … he was a complete blank slate.

I felt a resistance to my probing; a resistance as refined as the Vulcans themselves, and suddenly felt ashamed of myself. Geez; I had to live with these people for the next six months! I couldn't go intruding into their feelings! _I'm sorry_, I thought helplessly. _Sorry for all the bother I'm going to cause._

L'Dir turned to face me. "You are not Vulcan," he stated.

"What tipped you off?" I shot back defensively, then I sighed. "Sorry," I added. "I guess I'm a little wound up. No; you're right. My species is called human. The _T'Plana-Hath_ detected a warp trail coming from my planet, and decided to make contact."

He dipped his head. "We know of your species," he replied. "We have been observing your progress for some time."

I shook my head, relieved to be back on familiar ground. "I keep hearing that from you Vulcans — personally, I still can't see what progress we've made. We seemed to be a lot more civilized during the early years of this century."

During the Eugenics Wars of the 1990's, humans had learned to work together to fight against the super-humans, and our differences hadn't mattered. A number of these loose alliances had come together; the Americas, the Australians and the European Hegemony had begun sharing technology and ideas, and there'd even been talk of a single currency.

Unknown to us, however, the Middle East cultures had also formed their own alliance, fearing a western super-power. This group had evolved into the ECON and we'd ended up at war with each other — god only knows how.

I shook my head again, dragging my thoughts back to the present. "Well, whatever progress we've made, it was obviously enough in your eyes that we'd be ready for first contact."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sutak's home was curiously bare by human standards, yet the stark elegance was welcoming — much like its owner. He resided in a massive estate near the temples of Gol, and I'd been scanned to within an inch of my life before I was permitted to pass through the gates.

Sutak had made no apology for the actions of his guards, and that ticked me off a bit. Although, for Vulcans, it was not logical to apologize for actions that made sense, to me common courtesy dictated I be treated better.

"And these will be your sleeping quarters," he said gravely, ushering me into a simple bedroom, decorated in cool grays and blues.

Although it should have been cold to my human eyes, it was actually very restful, and provided a nice contrast with the red and umber colors of the outside world. I looked around, conscious of Sutak's presence so near to me in a way I hadn't been even when we'd shared the shuttle for several weeks. Maybe it was being in a bedroom that was making me feel self-conscious. Or maybe it was my own slumbering feelings finally awakening.

Uncomfortable with where my thoughts were going — introspection could be a good thing, but I tended to go too far — I turned to Sutak. "It's lovely, Sutak, thank you," I said gravely, steeling myself against the tension emanating from him. It was definitely getting worse. Even his lovely calm black eyes seemed to have a new fire in them.

He dipped his head. "You are welcome," he said — was his voice a little more gravelly than usual? "I hope you will be happy here." He indicated a large white closet. "I have taken the liberty of procuring some suitable garments for the duration of your stay here. I will be away for two of your months on a mission, but my servants will see to your needs."

"When are you going?" I blurted out, dismayed. I didn't want to be left on this strange new world with no-one to talk to. At least, that's what I firmly told myself.

"In forty eight of your hours," he said. "I have been given command of a new ship — its name translates to _Intrepid_ in your tongue. We are to travel to the Andorian homeworld to discuss a disputed world."

"Oh," I said hollowly. "Well, be careful," I added. "I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

His eyebrow rose and he put his hand very quickly on my shoulder. "It is illogical to worry, Charlotte," he said gently. "Two months is a very short period of time. With a new world to explore, and new people to meet, you will find the time appears to pass very rapidly."

I smiled at him, touched by the brief show of compassion, but resisted covering his hand with mine. "You're right," I said. "I've left the world of my birth and I'm living with aliens. And I'm the first human to do it."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I'd now been living on Vulcan for three weeks, and I'd gotten used to the heat and the thinner oxygen levels with a rapidity that surprised even the Vulcan healers. And I hadn't been as lonely as I'd thought I would be. I'd spent a good deal of time prowling around my new home, reading in the library about Vulcan and other worlds, and chatting with intelligent considerate people. I'd gotten to know L'Dir better and had been fascinated to learn about the discipline of _Kolinahr_ he was currently studying — the complete suppression of emotion.

Yet, for all my newfound happiness, there was something … missing. The feeling wasn't there all the time, and I could suppress it when it did appear. It was like a niggling toothache. I didn't know whether or not I was homesick. Although I did yearn to be able to speak without having to struggle for the right words, I didn't particularly miss anyone back home. I'd never gotten close to anyone there and had never really fit in, anyway. So, what was up with me?

I stepped out of the house, nodding to one of Sutak's servants — a startlingly beautiful female named T'Lani — and pulled my hood over my head. I strolled out of the gates and was surprised when one of the guards greeted me. "Good morning," he said in a voice that seemed to thunder out of his massive chest.

"Good morning," I replied automatically, before realizing he'd addressed me in English. "You've learnt my language?" I asked in Vulcan.

"It was only logical," he said, this time in Vulcan. "You are the first Earth visitor to our world, but you will not be the last."

"I love logic," I said in English. "Anyway, I mustn't distract you from your duties. I'm off to Shir'Kahr." My trip to Shir'Kahr was something I'd been looking forward to for a couple of weeks, and I'd managed to book a seat on a transport leaving for that city in half an hour, despite having no money.

Vulcans did not have a society based on monetary need — they'd eliminated the need for possessions centuries ago — and I'd had less trouble coping with that than one would have thought. Although capitalism had been a driving force on Earth for centuries, it had also been the cause of many of our problems. Saying that, communism under Mao and Stalin hadn't exactly been a picnic in the 20th century, but there had to be a happy medium.

I strolled along the quiet pathways, exchanging nods with passing Vulcans. By now, they'd gotten used to seeing me pounding the sidewalks, and some of them were becoming friendly — effusive, even, by Vulcan standards. I smiled at one of them. "Peace and long life, T'Mir," I said in Vulcan. "This day finds you well?"

T'Mir, an elegant older Vulcan whose acquaintance I'd first made the day after my arrival, dipped her head. "Live long and prosper, Charlotte," she returned in a melodious voice. "I am well, thank you. Walk with me," she added. "I am traveling to Shir'Kahr to visit my son."

"How's he doing?" I asked, falling into step beside her. I'd met her son a couple weeks earlier, just before he'd moved to Shir'Kahr to study at the Vulcan Science Academy.

"He is making satisfactory progress with his studies," T'Mir said.

"Good," I said.

As we walked into the shuttle port, I observed a pair of Vulcans greeting each other, touching two fingers — their version of holding hands — and realized they were mated. They looked to be about my age — maybe a little older — and that made me wonder about Sutak. He was older than I was, perhaps in his mid-thirties, and I was curious why he'd never married. He was a handsome, charming and erudite man — surely some lucky Vulcan woman should have snaffled him by now?

"Charlotte." T'Mir interrupted my mental rambling and I blinked. "You appear … distracted," she said. Her dark brown eyes bore deep into me. "You … feel Sutak's absence," she deduced.

Understatement of the century. "He's the first real friend I've ever had," I confided. "I never dealt well with the emotions of my own people, so I tended to keep my distance."

T'Mir tilted an eyebrow — a human would have teased me about my growing infatuation with Sutak, but Vulcans wouldn't dream of it. "You are empathic," she said. "It was your way of defending yourself."

"Apparently so," I replied. "I may not be able to identify the emotion or understand it, but I can usually feel other people's emotions. And the last few years, living near Zee, I've had to be more on my guard than ever."

"That would be Zefram Cochrane, the human who piloted the _Phoenix_," T'Mir said. "I had heard he was somewhat … unstable."

"But brilliant," I said quickly. "Say what you want about the man — and, trust me, I could say plenty — but you can't deny his genius."

The eyebrow went upward again. "You are learning our language rapidly," she said. "You are even becoming colloquial."

"Sorry; I'm probably ripping your language to shreds," I said with a short laugh. My natural reserve was returning as I was adjusting to all the changes in my life, much to my relief. I didn't like it when I was out of control. "I've always been good at other languages, but this is the first time both my little talents have come in handy."

"Neither of those abilities could be described as little," T'Mir replied mildly. "A facility for languages will serve you and your people well, as you begin to explore the galaxy."

"I don't think we've thought that far ahead," I said. "It's only been a couple months since Zee's warp flight — I think we're still dealing with the fact we're not alone in the universe like we always thought."

"You did not share their belief?"

"I … don't know," I said. "I hoped there was more than just us in the universe, but even then I didn't think they'd want anything to do with us."

"You do not speak of your fellow humans with much respect," T'Mir said with a faint reproof in her tone.

I shrugged. "There's no point being ridiculously clannish," I said. "Especially now we know we're not alone. Humans have plenty of good points as well as faults — I just don't happen to know the nicer humans." Except for those strangers that had been hanging around the day before the _Phoenix_ launched. With everything that had gone on the last few weeks, I realized I'd not given them a second thought, but now I wondered where they'd gone, what they were up to now. They'd been so keen to get the _Phoenix_ into space — what the hell had been at stake for them?


	7. Vulcan Traditions

**7 — Vulcan Traditions**

I stood in the shelter of the shuttleport, waiting for the crew of the _Intrepid_ to disembark. Sutak had been right; I'd thoroughly enjoyed myself the last couple months, and had even made good friends for the first time in my life. Although they weren't close friends the way I'd seen human friendships, they offered me a quiet undemanding companionship with good food and good conversation.

And with Sutak's absence there had also been the absence of that strange tension I'd been feeling around him. Some of it was my own tension of course — I was in love with him, but was hoping it was just puppy love — but the tension coming from him just before he'd left had been undeniable. Saying all that, though; I had missed him, even though he'd awakened feelings in me I'd never thought myself capable of.

The hatchway to the Intrepid slid open and part of it converted to a ramp — much like the one on the _T'Plana-Hath_ had done all those weeks ago. The junior officers disembarked first, followed by the senior officers, then by Sutak.

My breath caught in my throat — I'd forgotten how handsome the guy was. He raised his hood in deference to the blazing sun of 40 Eridani A and looked around, then his piercing black eyes focused on me. He came over to me, and my breath caught once again — whatever tension he'd been feeling before he left hadn't dissipated with time.

"Charlotte," he said in his rich baritone.

"Sutak," I replied. "Your trip went well, I presume?"

"It did," he informed me. "We have reached an agreement over the disputed planet — it will be controlled by the Andorians for fifty years, then by the Vulcans for the following fifty years, and so on."

"Sounds like you got the bad end of the deal," I commented. "Can you trust them not to strip the place of all its resources?"

An eyebrow went upward. "We have had our troubles with the Andorians, but they have always acted honorably," he said.

I accepted the rebuke without remark — I'd had it coming, seeing as I'd never even met an Andorian — and smiled slightly. "Come," I said, "I've arranged passage on a transport to Gol."

He raised the eyebrow. "You have settled in well," he said.

"I have," I agreed. "I'm picking up Vulcan faster than I thought I would — it helps that your people are patient and tolerant. They're willing to skip over my many mistakes."

He shook his head. "I have detected no errors in your speech so far, Charlotte," he said. "You have even become colloquial — although I detect a certain northern intonation in some of your phrases."

I chuckled. "That'll be T'Mir," I said. "She's the one who's been teaching me the most, so I'll have picked up her inflections."

"T'Mir is a skilled teacher," Sutak said. "I am sure you will learn much under her tutelage."

We boarded the transport — or nearly. Going up the steps, I tripped on my long robes and would have fallen but for Sutak's strong hand grasping my arm. I could've sworn I felt electricity from the brush of his hand against my bare arm, but he removed his hand too quickly for me to be able to tell. "Sorry," I mumbled, thoroughly unsettled. "Clumsy of me."

Sutak ignored the incident — big surprise, there — and we settled down in adjoining seats near the cockpit. It was funny, I mused as the shuttle took off smoothly. Four months ago, I'd been eking out a meager existence in Montana with no idea there was intelligent life 'out there'. Now, I was living on another planet, and had even gotten to the stage where I was taking it for granted. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a home, and I didn't want that feeling to end.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Vulcans didn't go in for mealtime chatter the way humans did, so our first meal together in two months was spent in silence. But that silence was not uncomfortable. He'd put on a recording of an up and coming Vulcan musician, and the soft strings of the lyrette (a kind of harp) echoed in a very mellow fashion.

I pushed aside my empty plate, and took a sip of Vulcan tea. T'Mir had introduced me to it several weeks ago, and the subtle blend of flavors had been delightful. I sighed and wriggled my shoulders. "Now, this is living!" I commented. I sighed again. "I wish I could play my favorite composer for you, but I didn't think I was going to be leaving Earth."

"You are fond of classical music, Charlotte?" Sutak asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I don't like the heavy stuff, like Wagner, but … Bach is my favorite." He raised an eyebrow at me. "I think the Vulcans would like him, too. He seemed to understand the necessity of restraining emotions, pouring them into his music instead."

"Johann Sebastian Bach?" His Vulcan accent made the German name sound odd. "We have encountered his music."

"You have?" I looked up at him, surprised. "When?"

"When we were observing your world several decades ago," he replied. "We perused many of your world's libraries, discovering works by Bach, Shakespeare, Milton, Lord Byron. And many others."

I chuckled slightly. "Well, I doubt Byron would have been your taste. He was quite mad."

"Mad?" Sutak peered at me. "As in angry, or as in …?"

"Insane," I finished for him. "The guy was a total nut-job," I added in English. Some expressions just did not translate into Vulcan.

"I see you have not lost your facility for colorful expressions," Sutak commented, deadpan.

That drew another small chuckle from me, and I was relieved the tension that had been between us seemed to have dissipated.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Charlotte; there is a subspace message for you," Sutak said later that evening.

"Cool; my first," I said, pattering over to the comm and activating it.

T'Pau appeared, looking as elegant as ever. She held up her hand in the traditional Vulcan salute. "_Greetings, Charlotte Logan, I trust this message finds you in good health._" I didn't answer; this was just a recording. "_I have sent a message to Zefram Cochrane on Earth, advising him of your situation._" She frowned slightly. "_His words were … peculiar, but I believe he is content for you to remain on Vulcan, should you wish._" She leaned into the screen. "_However, your return to Earth will be delayed further — the _Seleya_ has received new orders and will be leaving the Beta Quadrant shortly. We will not return for at least twelve of your months. I am sorry for your loss, Charlotte. Live long … and prosper._"

And with that, she was gone.

"Peace and long life," I mumbled. Now what was I going to do? If it hadn't been for my damnable feelings for Sutak, I could have quite happily stayed on Vulcan for a year … two years … whatever. But I knew my feelings were only going to deepen as I spent more time with him.

"I grieve with thee," Sutak said in formal Vulcan.

"It's only a year," I made myself say lightly. "It'll pass quickly enough — look how quickly the last two months zipped by."

He dipped his head in acknowledgment of my words. "Yet this troubles you," he said. "I do not understand the cause."

"I'm not sure myself," I lied. "I've had the time of my life the last couple of months. It might sound illogical, but I've never been happier except when I've been with you and your people. Something just … feels right about me being here. But I'm not Vulcan."

"By birth, you are not," Sutak agreed. "But perhaps you believe you belong here."

I nodded my head, surprised at this instant understanding. "There was a poet centuries ago on Earth who said 'If a man is born in a stable, does that make him a horse?'. Maybe that's what this is."

Sutak quirked an eyebrow. "I am not sure I understand the reference, but the meaning is clear. You believe a person is defined by more than where he was born."

"Yeah," I said. "I know it isn't logical, but I never claimed to be very logical. I tend to rely on gut instinct, even when it leads me wrong." I moved away from the comm unit and headed over to the corner of the living area.

I closed the curtains, then dropped down cross-legged in front of Sutak's meditation candles. T'Mir had taught me some simple Vulcan meditations, and I found they helped me a lot in my search for peace. The candles lit, I stared deeply into the flames, trying to ignore Sutak's presence.

That was made more difficult when he sat down opposite me and closed his eyes. His meditations were a lot more complex than mine, but he'd been brought up doing this.

The silence stretched as we both concentrated, then I ceased to be aware of Sutak … of the room … of Vulcan.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I watched as two elderly humans — male and female — walked along a beach, watching a little girl dash in and out of the sea, shrieking with laughter. "Charlotte; don't go too far!" the man called out.

This was me? Fascinated, I watched the usually solemn little girl as she danced around, allowing herself to get thoroughly dirty. She rushed up to the elderly couple. "Can I have an ice cream, gran'pa?" she said, tugging at the old man's sleeve.

The old man — my grandfather? — smiled down at the little girl, and tugged a credit wafer from his pocket. "Just one, though — I don't want you making yourself sick," he warned.

"Grandfather?" I murmured. The old man looked up, then he smiled directly at me …

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I drifted back to reality, unsettled by what had just happened to me. Had that been a memory or had it been some sort of hallucination? I got up quickly, wincing as my leg muscles protested, and wondered how long I'd been out of it. Sutak had left at some point, and I heard him puttering about in the kitchen.

I wandered into the kitchen and saw him busy at the stove. Although he had a full retinue of serving staff, he enjoyed cooking, although 'enjoyed' was probably the wrong word for a Vulcan. 'Appreciated' maybe. "Hey," I said.

"Charlotte," he replied solemnly. "You are rested?"

"Oh, yeah," I said. "Sutak; you know more about Vulcan meditations than I do. Is it possible for me to retrieve buried memories during meditation?"

His eyebrow went up. "It is, but it does not normally happen during the meditation you practice. It requires years of practice and extreme discipline to achieve the state."

"Maybe it's because I'm human and we tend to block things less than Vulcans," I said pensively.

"Was your memory … disturbing?" Sutak asked, his deep voice sounding concerned. "You have, after all, indicated you did not have a happy childhood."

I smiled faintly. "This memory was a good one; I can't understand why I would've blocked it and not the bad ones."

"A method of protecting yourself, perhaps," Sutak suggested. "You did not wish to remember the good times, as those memories would only remind you of what you no longer had."

I considered that theory, was about to reject it, then I shrugged. "You could be right," I admitted. "You know, Sutak, for a guy who claims to have suppressed all his emotions, you're damn good at understanding them."

His eyebrow shot up again. "It is only by identifying and understanding emotions that one is able to control them," he said. He turned back to the stove. "Would you care for some tea?"

"I would, thanks," I said. I went to the cupboard and got two cups out, then watched as he poured the fragranced brew into each of them. "Lovely," I added. "You people really know how to live."

"Is that your strange humor you call sarcasm?" he asked.

I spluttered with the laugh and nearly sent tea through my nose. "No, Sutak," I chuckled, dabbing at my face with a handy napkin. "I was being sincere. You're peaceful, intelligent and considerate. Plus, you make great tea and _plomeek_ soup. What's not to like?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I nearly fell out of bed as thunder roared overhead — I'd never been good with sudden loud noises. "Great Bird; what was that?" I yelped, invoking a phrase used by some of the children I'd met.

The Great Bird of the Galaxy was a mythical creature that supposedly existed in the voids between the galaxies, and no adult on Vulcan would believe in such a creature. However, references had made their way into the folklore of most of the populated planets in this part of space.

I laughed as I saw the lightning flash and smacked my forehead in chagrin. "Well, duh," I muttered. Knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep until the storm was over, I padded quietly to the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of mint tea — it wasn't the same as Earth's mint tea, but it was very soothing.

I sipped at the tea and watched the thunderstorm swirl around the mountains; there was no rain, as Vulcan was mostly a desert planet. I'd always hated dry storms, being paranoid about fire, but the mint tea was having a soporific effect on me.

Just as I was debating the merits of another cup, the door whispered open and Sutak came in. "Charlotte," he said solemnly, evincing no surprise at my early morning meandering.

"Hi," I said. "Would you like some mint tea?"

"That will be most refreshing, thank you," he replied.

"Weird. It acts as a tranquilizer for me," I said, putting the heating unit on once more. "Just another example of the differences between our people."

"Indeed," he replied, but he didn't seem quite focused. That was odd, for I'd never seen a Vulcan act distracted before.

The water came to a boil and lifted the unit carefully — another peal of thunder rattled the rafters and I started at the noise, sending scalding water onto my arm. I cried out in pain and let go of the heating unit.

Sutak moved quickly over to me, grasped my arm and led me over to the faucet. Thank God someone had some presence of mind! "Are you all right?" he asked, as the blessedly cool water ran over my arm.

"Just dandy," I gasped, cursing as tears leaked out of my eyes. "Never been better."

"Keep your arm under the water — I will get some ointment," he said, making his way out of the kitchen. He returned what seemed like hours later, and applied the salve, which was deliciously cold on my tortured skin. "These are not serious burns; they are merely skin wounds," he said. "I do not believe you will even have a scar."

"That's how I know it isn't serious," I said. "If it didn't hurt like hell, then the nerves would be dead, and I'd be in deep trouble." Even through the pain of the scald, I was extremely conscious of his warm body so near to mine, and his gentle hand applying the ointment. I jerked backward from him. "It's okay," I gabbled, grabbing the tube, "I can do this myself."

"As you wish," Sutak said calmly, although the prolonged contact had shown me that he wasn't completely unaffected by me. "I would advise you to return to bed," he added. "You have had a shock and will feel the effects shortly."

He was right; I was trembling uncontrollably and my legs didn't even feel like they belonged to me anymore. "Good idea," I said. "I'm sorry about making a mess," I added.

"Do not concern yourself; I will clean it up," he said. "Go to bed, _t'hy'la_."

I spun around at that word and regretted it immediately as the world spun also. _T'hy'la_ was a Vulcan term used to define a lover, but I didn't have the courage to confront Sutak about it. "Night," I mumbled. My thoughts whirling in time with the room, I left the kitchen and headed back to my bedroom. Did Sutak have … feelings for me? Was it possible?

Back in my bedroom, my arm having subsided to a dull throb, I stood in front of the mirror and surveyed my reflection. I'd never really paid any attention to my looks before, but now I considered them. Small and skinny, with long dark hair and pale skin; I couldn't say whether or not I was attractive. Zee had made a half-assed pass at me shortly after I'd moved to Montana, but I'd not thought anything about it at the time.

If only I wasn't who I was! I had no idea how to pursue a man, never mind a Vulcan! I'd never had a crush on, or been attracted to, anyone in all my twenty three years. I was what you would call a late bloomer, and had no idea what to do with all these feelings.

I stuck my tongue out at my reflection and got into bed, being careful not to lean on my damaged arm. I closed my eyes against the raging storm and, against all odds, fell asleep almost immediately.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Many hours later, I awoke after a series of unsettling dreams, most of them centering around Sutak. I got up quickly and yelped as I banged my arm against the bedstead. I looked down at my arm and saw the angry welts. "Ohhhhhh," I said, recalling my early morning accident.

Remembering the accident also brought to mind the endearment that Sutak had bestowed upon me — _t'hy'la_. I reached out with my developing empathic senses and knew he was still in the house … somewhere. But his mind was in great turmoil, and I shrank back at the idea of confronting him right now.

I yelped again as there was a knocking on my door. "Charlotte; are you awake?" came Sutak's low baritone.

"I am," I said. "Come in." As the door opened, I realized I was still in my night gown. "Uh, give me a second; I'm not decent," I said. The door closed once more and I tugged a robe over my night gown. I padded over to the door and opened it. "Good morning, Sutak," I said, trying to block the tension emanating from him.

His eyebrow quirked. "Actually, it is past midday," he said.

"Oh." Geez; I'd slept the entire morning away! "In that case, good afternoon," I substituted.

"I trust you are sufficiently rested," he inquired.

Was this the Vulcan version of small talk? If so, he sucked at it. "Yeah, thanks," I said, while wondering why he'd come to my room.

"That is good," he said.

I followed him into the living room and curled up on one of the beanbag-like items. "Did you want to talk, Sutak?" I said, uncomfortable with the ominous silence that had descended.

The eyebrow quirked upward once again. "Your abilities have grown," he said.

"I've had no reason to hide them here, or to be afraid of them," I said, allowing the change of topic. But not for long. His tension nibbled at my flimsy barriers — I was nowhere near as good as a Vulcan at blocking out emotions — until I was forced to say, "I didn't know Vulcans prevaricated. What's the matter?"

He settled himself at the table bearing a game known as _Kal'to_ — a logic game. T'Mir had tried to teach me the basics, but I'd sucked at it. "You are very perceptive, Charlotte," he said. "Vulcans do not prevaricate, but I have … been unsure how to broach this subject with you. Before returning to Gol, I sought guidance with the clerics at the temple."

"Sutak …," I growled.

Evidently he saw that my patience was hanging by a thread, for he continued. "How much do you know about Vulcan bonding rituals?"

"A little," I said. "I know you're telepathically linked to another Vulcan at the age of seven. Then you tend to go your separate ways until you're adults; at which point you get married, produce lots of little Vulcans and live logically ever after."

"Without the sarcasm, that is essentially correct," he said almost snappishly. "However, my parents chose not to bond me to anyone; they had a somewhat radical view of Vulcan mores and were considered mavericks. As a result, I am unmated."

"But what's this got to do with me?" I asked blankly, unsure why he was telling me this.

"I wish for you to have a better understanding of the Vulcan heart," he said.

My patience snapped. "Heart? To you people, it's an organ that pumps that green stuff you call blood around the body, isn't it? You've spent a lifetime suppressing your emotions to the extent that you wouldn't recognize one if it slapped you in the face!"

"Charlotte," Sutak said, and a steely note entered his usually pleasant voice, "do not presume to judge me or my people. We recognize emotion, we have emotion; we merely control it."

"Uh-huh." I crossed over to the table and put my hand on his. "Feel that emotion, Sutak," I said. "There's something between us; I felt it this morning when you were fixing up my hand." Suddenly ashamed of myself, I dropped my hand. "Oh God, I'm sorry," I groaned. "I had no right to put you on the spot like that." I edged away from the table, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. "I think I'd better leave; I can't stay here any longer."

"And where will you go?"

"Maybe T'Mir will let me crash with her until I can get a transport back to Earth," I said. "She's been itching to teach me _Kal'to_ and I haven't been a very good student so far."

"Charlotte." His firm tone stopped my babbling and I looked at him. I gasped, unprepared for the onslaught of emotion. "There is another Vulcan tradition; most Vulcans do not speak of it. It is called the _pon farr_."

"_Pon farr_?"

"It comes to every Vulcan from the age of thirty years and resurfaces every seven years. I am thirty five years old, and am experiencing a delayed _pon farr_, due to the fact that I am unbonded. I am currently in the early stages, and can control the urges with meditation."

"Urges?" I said stupidly, then blushed as I realized what he meant. "It's … a mating drive?"

Even for a child of maverick Vulcans, he seemed extremely uncomfortable discussing this — especially with an offworlder — and I carefully put a block on my own discomfort. "Can you find someone to … you know … bond with? You know; before the second stage?"

"The _plak-tow_ — blood fever," he said not quite steadily. "That will occur in approximately three point two months. At that point, I must mate or I will die."

"But you don't have a mate," I said. "Then again, you're a charming, good-looking guy. Can't you find someone to bond with?"

"I have already selected my mate," he said.

"Oh," I said, dismayed. "Well, congratulations. I really should move out in that case. I certainly don't want to put a crimp in the works …".

"_T'hy'la_." The word came out sounding ragged, and I stopped in my tracks. He got up from the table and put his hand toward mine, the fore and middle fingers extended.

To say I was startled would have been the understatement of the century! Nevertheless, I was glad that my feelings were returned. Hesitantly, I let his fingers touch mine. "But, Sutak, I'm not a Vulcan," I objected. I stopped mid-protest and smiled slightly. "That's why you needed to talk to the clerics at Gol, isn't it?" I deduced.

"It is," he said. "There have been very few instances of Vulcans marrying offworlders, but in this case, it is believed that your empathic abilities will allow us to bond."

As our fingers touched, his feelings — powerful emotions — rushed through me; deep love, strong respect and a great deal of passion. If anyone ever said Vulcans had no emotion, I sure could have proven them wrong right now. I took a deep breath, then curled my hand around his. "Too much," I protested. "Can I do anything for you?"

Although I wasn't telepathic, I could communicate with someone whose telepathy was so strong. I sent one of my few happy memories to him; the day I'd spent with my grandparents at the beach before the war. Then I sent a more recent memory; my first walk with Sutak in the Montana woodlands. We'd spent the day in near silence, content simply to be in each other's company. It had been a day of peace and harmony, and the memory was one I would cherish forever.

Anyway, it seemed to do the trick. His breathing slowed and became steady once more, and the crushing weight of his passion subsided. "You have indeed become skilled, Charlotte," he said, letting go of my hand. "I had no idea you had learned to communicate telepathically."

His mind under his control once more, he added, "If you are agreeable, I have made an appointment for us to speak with the High Priestess. She wishes to ensure you are ready for what you have agreed to do."

"Well, I'll need to get dressed first," I said, feeling numb, and striving for some normalcy. This had all happened so fast, and I didn't know if I was ready. Although I was in love with him, I'd never gotten any further in my thoughts, for it had never occurred to me he'd even return my feelings, let alone propose!

"Charlotte," Sutak said gravely, "if you wish to wait until you are ready, I am agreeable. I realize there is much about this situation that will make you uncomfortable."

"I'll get over it," I said immediately. "What happens if you go into _plak-tow_ and I'm off having the colly-wobbles someplace? You'll die. Besides" — my voice became muffled as I stuck my head in the closet for a towel — "I love you. And I know you'll never say it back, but I don't need you to. I can feel it." I was surprised I wasn't blushing again as I made this bold statement, but decided I was picking up some of the Vulcan self-control.

Sutak dipped his head to me. "Thank you," he said solemnly.

"You're welcome." I emerged from the closet. "Now, I need to take a shower, so buzz off for a while."

"Your use of humor is not appropriate in this situation," he commented.

I sighed. "I know; I tend to use it to deflect serious situations," I said.

"Also as a defense mechanism," he replied; hell, the guy could have made an excellent shrink! "It is all right for you to admit your discomfort with this turn of events. In return, I will admit to a similar trepidation."

"I'll try to get serious," I said, reaching out to touch his face, then thinking better of it and twirling a lock of hair around my finger. "But I've acted like this as long as I can remember; it's become almost instinct."

"Your self-preservation instincts are no longer necessary," Sutak said. "I have no desire to hurt you."

"But you will," I said. "And I'll hurt you, even if you won't admit it. I've never been in a close relationship, but I used to see it all the time." I smiled, then touched his face. "All we can do is work to ensure that the good times outweigh the bad."

To my surprise, his hand closed briefly around mine, and his dry heat warmed me. "Your logic," he said dryly, "is impeccable."

"Thank you," I replied.


	8. The Bonding

_Thank you for the reviews. It's nice to know people are enjoying my work - so far. Thanks especially to Targ Scoop and JadziaKathryn._

* * *

**8 — The Bonding**

I eyed the mountain that lay ahead of us dubiously. Although I was strong and healthy — healthier than I'd been in a long time — I didn't know if I had the stamina for a hike up a mountain under 40 Eridani A's glare.

Sutak waited patiently beside me. "You are ready?" he inquired steadily, having won the battle against his emotions — for now, at any rate.

I squared my slight shoulders. "Oh, yeah — bring it on," I said.

We set off in silence; Sutak because he wasn't the chattering type and me … well, I wasn't the chattering type either, and I needed my breath for the hike.

The sun beat mercilessly down on us, and I'd never been so glad for the hood of my robe as I was at this time. Sutak set a steady ground-eating pace, but one I had no trouble keeping up with. Either I was fitter than I thought or I'd adapted quickly to Vulcan's hotter climes.

About halfway up, I felt my ears pop — a sure sign the air had gotten thinner. Although Vulcan's air was thinner than Earth's, I'd coped pretty well, but this was different. Yet something — dumbass pride, maybe — wouldn't let me slow down. I took in a deep breath of the air and forced myself onward and upward, Sutak marching tirelessly beside me.

Finally, finally, we reached the top and I could see the temple of Gol waiting for me, shimmering slightly in the afternoon sun. I paused as my vision swam and shook my head with an annoyed grunt.

As we got nearer the temple, a young Vulcan female — maybe ten years older than Sutak, but that was young for Vulcans — came out. She raised her hand in the Vulcan greeting. "Live long and prosper, Sutak," she said.

I was illogically cheered to hear the northern intonations — that was how most of my Vulcan came out, and it was nice to hear one of the high clerics speak with the same accent.

Sutak raised his own hand. "Peace and long life," he returned.

The cleric continued in archaic Vulcan — fortunately, my studies of the Vulcan tongue had included ceremonial words. Sutak responded in the same tongue, and the female turned and looked at me. "Thou hast come for the pre-bonding rites," she said in the same archaic Vulcan.

I dipped my head. "I have," I replied in the same tongue, glad I couldn't feel any distaste from her.

She turned to Sutak. "Leave us," she said imperiously. "I wish to speak with this one alone."

Sutak dipped his head. "As you command, High Priestess," he said. He followed a young Kolinahru male out of the blazing sun — _lucky SOB_, I thought viciously.

"I am High Priestess T'Para," she continued. "Thou hast been acquainted with Sutak for only a short time — what maketh thee believe that thou understandeth him sufficiently to enter into bonding with him?"

I shot a look at T'Para's attendant that plainly said _Am I supposed to defend myself here?_. Naturally, there was no response and I shook my head. "I'll live with him for the rest of my life and not understand him fully, as I'm not psychic. I doubt Vulcans understand Vulcans completely — otherwise, why the people seeking _Kolinahr_?"

She tilted an eyebrow. "Thy logic is … interesting," she commented. "Thou art not of this world," she added.

"You couldn't tell just by looking at me?" I inquired. What the hell did this hood hide? I shook my head at my inadvertently snotty response. "No," I said instead. "My species is human; you probably won't have heard of us."

She shook her head, surprising me once more. "We have received reports of observations of your people for many years," she said, switching to standard Vulcan. "When we learned one of your scientists was building an interstellar vessel, we anticipated making official contact with you. However, we did not expect you would yet have left your solar system."

"That's a long story," I said. "So I'll give you the short version. Basically, we were taking it in turns to visit the _T'Plana-Hath_ and it was my turn when the Rihannsu took over, and shot the ship out of my solar system. Then they stuffed us into shuttles, the _Seleya_ picked us up and here I am."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several hours later, T'Para still hadn't said anything, and I wondered grumpily if she was waiting for me to break. Well, two could play that game. I'd been the master at keeping myself to myself before I'd met Sutak; I could keep this up a while longer. Besides, I'd learned from T'Mir and my other friends that an empath was never truly alone unless they chose it.

I opened my mind, seeking contact with Sutak, and felt his warmth and strength. Taking comfort from this, I withdrew quickly and focused my gaze on a monstrous-looking weapon. It was about two meters long with a vicious-looking blade at one end — an unholy union of bludgeon and machete. So, this was the famed _lirpa_ of Vulcan ritual. Many of Vulcan's rituals lay in their barbarian past when a fight could literally be a fight to the death.

T'Para snapped out of whatever trance she'd been in and fixed me with unflappable gray eyes. "What is thy name?" she asked.

"Charlotte," I told her, not bothering with my surname. Vulcans did not have clan names, having lost that tradition along with the clannish instincts that had fueled their earlier barbaric civilization.

"Thou willt open thine mind to me," she said firmly yet gently. "I must learn what I seek to know by sharing thy thoughts."

I knew about the mind meld and what it entailed, but I'd never participated in one. The closest I'd come was when I'd helped Sutak collect himself earlier. "All right," I said cautiously. "Just remember, though, I'm not a Vulcan. Will you be all right?"

She tilted her eyebrow and a small twinkle appeared in her eyes. "Your concern is appreciated but it is unnecessary," she said.

She led me into a sheltered courtyard and I breathed deeply as a faint breeze wafted over us. The air quality was no better, but the breeze was delicious. We sat down facing each other, and she raised a hand to my face. "Uh, High Priestess, I've got some pretty bad memories buried in there," I said quickly.

She shook her head. "I have practiced this ritual for many years with people far more volatile than yourself," she said.

"Right," I said, remembering what Sutak had told me; that Vulcans were naturally very passionate, but had learned to control their emotions.

I closed my eyes as her hand settled in a precise pattern; thumb near my chin, forefinger pressing at my temple, and the other fingers resting just above my left cheekbone. "Your mind to my mind," she intoned. "Your thoughts to my thoughts."

I felt a momentarily swirl of dizziness, a wrenching sensation like stepping off a stair that wasn't there, then I saw T'Para's regal features. _Our minds are joined_, she told me. _I will not force myself into memories you would prefer remain buried. Take solace in the fact that I am equally as vulnerable to you._

_Yeah, except I'm not telepathic, remember?_, I shot back. I didn't have the ability to probe her thoughts.

Deep in our shared conscious, I felt her surprise. _You are empathic; we were not aware your species had this ability._

_I'm the only one I know of_, I replied, no longer questioning why I was able to communicate with her. After all, I'd been able to do it with Sutak and we hadn't been melded.

As the meld continued, I was able to see images of what was evidently T'Para as a child. At seven years old, she'd been bonded with a male per Vulcan custom. The young male was called Turak, and they'd gone their separate ways until drawn together some twenty three years later by the fires of _pon farr_.

I saw her father, a distinctly handsome male by the name of Taurik, climbing into a ship somewhat like the _T'Plana-Hath_. The young T'Para had clasped him around the waist, refusing to let him go, but had been pulled away gently by her mother.

Suddenly, the contact between us ended, and I blinked in confusion. "What … just happened?" I asked.

"I have learned what I need to know, young seeker," she said. "Thy heart is of Vulcan; thine blood also. I believe thou art ready to bond with Sutak."

I blinked again. From what Sutak had said, it should have taken days for us to finish the pre-bonding rites. Was this it?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

We dined together that evening; Sutak, T'Para and I, along with the _Kolinahru_ and other acolytes. Dinner was typically silent, but I could feel the curiosity of the acolytes. Naturally, I could feel nothing from the _Kolinahru_, but that was nice. It was comforting not be battered by people's emotions; not to have to put up barriers all the time.

One of the youngest acolytes, a male named Solkar, turned to me as I poured a cup of tea. "Your species is human?" he said.

"Correct," I replied briefly, hoping that he would remain civil. Although the numbers were small at the moment, there was a group of Vulcans who believed we weren't ready to leave our solar system; that our violent unpredictable natures would cause trouble.

I'd met one of them, a young male named Soval, recently and had been less than impressed. He had an unswerving belief in Vulcan superiority that was almost … Rihannsu in its arrogance. I just hoped he'd have the sense to leave Earth alone. Now we'd gotten our wings, we were ready to fly, and ain't nobody was going to stop us!

"We know of your species," Solkar said smoothly.

"Yeah? And what's the verdict?"

"Your species has … great potential."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "Well, that's good."

"Your empathic abilities are … impressive," he said, and I blinked at the non sequitur. "You have a high psi reading for your people."

"I used to hate my abilities back on Earth, but here on Vulcan, I can cope," I said. "Because of your abilities, things are much calmer for me." Tired of talking about me, I turned back to my neglected meal. I poked at the salad, but didn't have much of an appetite. Between the thin air and the mind meld, I was quite exhausted.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several days later:

The Vulcan dignitaries, male and female, young and old, gathered to witness this rare event in their history; a Vulcan bonding with an offworlder. I was already hot, but there wasn't a mussed hair amongst them. Then again, they'd been bred in this climate. A little desert heat wasn't going to bother them.

I stifled a cough as the breeze brought a whiff of sulfur, and watched the dark blue shadows retreat rapidly from the deeper red of the desert plains far below.

Above the distant Mount Seleya and the other jagged peaks, the thin air was already starting to shimmer. Then with dramatic suddenness, the rising sun 40 Eridani A flared off the snow capping Mount Seleya, turning the mountain's peak to blazing copper, and catching me right in the eye.

_Wonderful_, I mused. _What a way to start a wedding; with a case of sunburn._ Before I had time to get too nervous, I heard the rustle of tiny bells. _Here we go_, I thought, straightening the silver robes I wore. Silver was a traditional betrothal color on Vulcan. Then the gong boomed out.

T'Para, resplendent in dark blue-gray robes, dipped her head to me. "It is time," she said softly. "You will go out first." Her eyes narrowed. "You are … troubled," she said.

"Just the jitters," I replied just as softly. "I'm fine."

With that declaration, I stepped out of the temple between two pillars, my hair for once falling unrestrained down my back toward my hips. Striving for composure, I walked toward the pillar where the bonding would take place.

Sutak came over to join me. "Good morning," I murmured.

The tiniest smile flickered over his lips. "Good morning to you, too," he replied.

There was no time for chit-chat, however. Two of the biggest Vulcans I'd ever seen stalked into the amphitheater, each bearing _lirpa_. They were followed by four attendants carrying T'Para on a kind of sedan affair, gleaming with black lacquer engraved in an intricate red geometric design.

"_Kroykah_!" she said strongly.

Sutak dropped to one knee before T'Para, who leaned forward to touch his temple. His face went blank, as if he'd instantly gone into a trance.

T'Para beckoned to me. I copied Sutak's actions, and felt the brush of her fingers at my temple. I felt the strength of her mind as it touched mine; _Be joined, my children_, she urged.

Facing each other now, Sutak and I stretched our hands out to touch each other's temples. It was like I was a vessel for a higher Vulcan. T'Para adjusted our fingers as if we were, in truth, only seven years old, then she nodded her head.

"My mind to your mind," Sutak said softly.

"My thoughts to your thoughts," I replied.

"Parted from me and never parted …".

"Never and always touching and touched."

At those words, T'Para extended her hands to cover our fingers, as if sealing our vows. "Now thee are one," she intoned. "At the appointed time, thee shall be drawn together."

At a quick gesture from T'Para, Sutak removed his hand from my face; I was a little slower to react, but not disgracefully so. Sutak rose and held out his hand, two fingers extended for the public contact permitted bonded pairs. I brushed his fingers with my own and he raised me to my feet. For a moment, we studied each other. _Something feels different_, I thought.

Sutak raised an eyebrow. Not that different, perhaps. I allowed myself another smile — I was just an ignorant offworlder — before the various dignitaries came up one by one to pay their respects.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

After the completion of the ceremony, we returned to Sutak's house. He was due to leave the next day on another mission — negotiations with the Rihannsu over the _T'Plana-Hath_. It seemed they were willing to return the ship, but they wanted things for it. The _Intrepid_ was to transport Soval and his diplomatic team to a neutral planet in the Rigellian system, and they would be gone for at least two months.

I looked at Sutak, admiring his face and slim well-toned body. He caught my looking at him and raised an eyebrow. _Not yet._ When the time came, we would both feel the effects, due to the bond. I wouldn't feel it as strongly, not being Vulcan, but it would be there. At that time, we would come together and be truly bonded.

I twiddled the small ruby ear-ring in my left lobe — the ear-ring many bonded females wore — and winced. The flesh was still tender from this morning's piercing, and I wished I could leave it alone. I'd nearly hit the roof when the piercing had been done — I'd always hated needles, and they hadn't even anesthetized my ear first. My tolerance for pain was usually pretty high — living in post-war Montana meant there was no place for delicate flowers — but all my senses had become heightened during the bonding ceremony.

"Charlotte; there are pain-killers available," Sutak said gravely.

I shrugged. "It'll wear off," I said. "Of course, it'll wear off sooner if I stop messing with the ear-ring. Maybe we should put my hands in plaster so I can't keep touching my ears."

He tilted an eyebrow. "I believe there is a human expression to cover this eventuality; shooting off a cannon to kill a gnat," he said archly.

With the bonding had come a greater understanding of him, and I now knew when he was truly perplexed by human behavior and when he was simply being ornery. Deciding the latter applied on this occasion, I headed out to the kitchen with a small smile. "Yeah, so it would be overkill," I said and switched on the heating unit. "Tea?" I asked.

"Thank you," he replied, just as calm as he'd been the day I'd met him. It seemed the bonding had calmed him down for the time being. "I am to leave Vulcan tomorrow," he added. "How do you propose to occupy yourself during my absence?"

"I haven't really thought about it," I admitted. "But I will need something to do. If I'm going to be the wife of a Vulcan, then I should act like a Vulcan." I poured out the tea, deep in thought. "There's a position in the Science Academy for an administrator. Now my Vulcan's gotten better, I might have a shot at that."

"I do … not believe you will be making the best use of your talents," Sutak said. "You have shown a natural talent for healing; have you considered serving as an apprentice to one of Vulcan's healers?"

I was surprised. "I thought only _Kolinahru_ could be healers," I objected.

"It is true that most healers are _Kolinahru_; however, there are several bonded Vulcans serving as healers," Sutak said. He sipped his tea. "If you are interested, you should make an appointment with T'Para."

"I … I'm not sure I'm ready yet, Sutak," I said hesitantly. "It took a lot out of me when I helped you out last week. Maybe later, when I've learned to protect myself better."

"As you wish," Sutak said calmly. "It is important that you be … happy in your new life. There is much about life on Vulcan that is different to that of Earth."

"You're telling me!" I rejoined, feeling us slip back into the easy friendship we'd shared back on Earth.

I wandered out of the kitchen, tea in hand, and headed over to the low table bearing the _Kal'to_. "Maybe I can get T'Mir to teach me this," I said. "That'd certainly occupy my time."

"A good idea," he agreed, poker-faced. Evidently, he'd heard of my spectacular lack of success at mastering the basics of the logic game.

I chuckled, wishing he didn't have to leave so soon. But we both had our own lives to lead; I could no more keep him from leaving than a Vulcan could stop being logical. "That's mean," I said. Then I turned and grinned at him. "But you're right, of course."

He settled down on one of the beanbag affairs and I sat down on one near the window, watching the sunset. Sunsets on Vulcan were gorgeous, because 40 Eridani A was much hotter and larger than Earth's sun. I sipped at my rapidly cooling tea as the sky glowed beautiful reds and oranges.

"Charlotte," Sutak said, interrupting my reverie, "it is not the Vulcan way to make speeches. However, I am pleased you consented to bond with me."

That was as close to a declaration of love as I was ever going to get from him — except during _pon farr_ of course — and I smiled at him. "It was hardly a difficult decision, Sutak," I told him. "I thought you were attractive the first moment I saw you step off the _T'Plana-Hath_. Then of course I got to know you better, and the attraction just got stronger. I'm just glad you felt it too." I shifted in my beanbag to face him. "But … I have to tell you … I'm not exactly experienced in these matters. I'm not really sure what's going to happen."

Sutak's features gentled. "When the appointed time comes, you will feel the blood fever, as will I. The urge will drive any other considerations from our minds. Our bond will not allow me to hurt you, even if I were to desire such a thing." A small twinkle appeared in his eyes. "As you were the … aggressor in this relationship, your fears do not seem logical."

Just a day ago, I would have wondered if he were teasing me. Now, due to the bond we shared, I knew he was. "Hey, whatever happened to chivalry?" I said mock indignantly.

The eyebrow tilted. "You are teasing me now," he said.

"Bingo," I said. "If I can't tease my … fiancé, who can I tease?"

"It will be an … interesting experience to share my life with you, Charlotte," he said. "In some ways, you are distinctly Vulcan. And then in others …".

"I'm totally human, and that shocks you," I put in.

"Vulcans do not experience shock," he said.

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "Intellectually, you know I'm different to you, but you're only reminded sometimes and it … throws you off balance?"

"That is an acceptable analysis," Sutak said.

"Yeah, well, I've been there," I said. "The first thing that reminded me you were different was when I visited you on the _T'Plana-Hath_ and was nearly bowled over by the heat." I sipped at my tea and grimaced — yuck, cold. "I think our similarities bring us together rather than our differences drive us apart," I added, putting the cup on the table.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"No, that's not right," I said impatiently to one of my colleagues at the Science Academy. "_V'tosh Ka'tur_ translates to Vulcans without logic in my language." I shook my head, wondering at the man's denseness. "You wanted to learn my language; try it again." I pushed the paper back at him, and sighed as the comm unit in front of me beeped. "Oh, for crying out loud," I grumbled, activating the comm device. "Vulcan Science Academy," I said.

There was a nonplused silence on the other end, and I realized I'd spoken in English. "Vulcan Science Academy," I repeated, this time in Vulcan.

After I'd dealt with the call — a wrong number, as it turned out — I sighed irritably. I could've sworn everything and everyone was setting out to annoy me these days. "I'm taking a break," I announced.

My supervisor looked over at me. "A break?" she asked.

Who was this woman — my elementary school teacher? "A time out, a pause, a lull in the action …," I said snippily.

"I am aware of the concept of a break," she said. "I do not understand why you feel the need to take one so early in the day."

"I'm not Vulcan, remember? I don't have your energy. And if I stare at this computer any more, my eyeballs are going to fall out."

"If your eyeballs do fall out, we have excellent medical facilities," she said.

I whirled around at that. Was T'Rima showing a sense of humor? "Thanks," I said, feeling some of my irritation die at this little exchange. I flashed her the human peace sign. "Later," I added.

I pulled my decided non-Vulcan straw hat on as I stepped outside and breathed deeply. Sitting down on a stone bench, I looked out at the bustling city of Shir'Kahr. Flitters hovered in the air above me, people conversed quietly and courteously as they passed me, some with a polite nod, others with a greeting. I responded to the greetings as politely as I could, but all I really wanted was to be alone. If I didn't get some peace any time soon, I was liable to end up smashing something … or someone.

An uncomfortable thought suddenly hit me. "Excuse me," I said to one of the passing Vulcans, "what day is it?"

"Why; it is day four, the first week of Tasmeen," he answered.

Of course. It had been twelve weeks since Sutak and I had been bonded; we were drawing near to the time of the blood fever. No wonder I'd been so irritable the last couple of weeks. I shivered, wondering what Sutak must be going through. After all, being Vulcan, the _pon farr_ would be gripping him far more strongly than it did me.

I linked my fingers together then joined the two forefingers in a steeple as Sutak had taught me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to find my center. _Logic, peace, serenity_, I chanted to myself. _I have all this within me; I must set aside the fires of _pon farr.

"Charlotte?" T'Rima stood in front of me. When had she arrived?

"Yes!" I barked at her. I tried — I really tried — not to want to kill her, but she'd interrupted me just as I'd gotten closer to calm.

She looked as startled as any Vulcan I'd ever seen, then saw the ruby ear-ring in my ear. "You are bonded to a Vulcan?" she said.

_Logic, peace, serenity. Logic, peace, serenity. Logic, peace, serenity._ "Yes," I said angrily, then breathed in deeply as I found my center. _I have found my logic, my peace, my serenity. I will set aside the fires of _pon farr. I smiled slightly at T'Rima and got up from the bench. "Okay; break's over," I said. Vulcans weren't comfortable talking about the _pon farr_, but I knew that T'Rima realized what I was going through.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Day Five, Fifth Week Of Tasmeen:

I made my way up the rocky trail to the temple of Gol in record-breaking time, fury giving me a new energy. Although I'd been warned the bonding would make me experience some of the blood fever, I'd not been prepared for this murderous rage. I'd never been so scared in my life, and that was for someone who'd grown up during a world war and with an abusive alcoholic father.

L'Dir gave me a respectful nod as I passed him at the speed of light, but I didn't even deign to glance at him. I focused my empathic senses in search of one person, High Priestess T'Para.

As if in tune to my distress, she appeared less than a minute later. "Live long and prosper, Charlotte," she said, parting her fingers in the Vulcan salute.

"Peace and long life," I replied raggedly, wanting nothing more than to collapse into the comfort of someone's arms. Of course, I wasn't going to get that here on Vulcan.

Her eyebrows lifted. "You are in distress," she said.

I chuckled shortly with no humor. "Hail, the High Priestess of understatement," I said angrily. Another wave of rage shot through me and I doubled over in almost physical pain. "Help me," I muttered.

Then the fires of _pon farr_ swept over me and I knew no more.


	9. The Captain's Table III

**9 — The Captain's Table III**

"Well," the elderly woman said with a stretch, "I think I'm done for now." She got up and patted her stomach. "Captain; where's the toity?"

"Excuse me?" Both Janeway and Picard were taken aback at the odd word.

"Oh." The woman blushed — truly an odd thing to see on someone in Vulcan garb. "I keep forgetting just how many years separate us. The little girls' room? The necessarium?"

Now Janeway knew what she wanted, she was able to nod in the right direction. "Over there," she said.

"Thanks." The older woman headed away, past Hompaq — who had since returned to her spot at the bar, bored with the lack of battle in the story — and turned out of sight.

Janeway turned to Picard, glad the old woman had gone — there was something she had to say. "It looks like your intervention back then has made its way into the history books," she commented.

Picard looked none too pleased. "Indeed," he said. "I gave orders for us to stay out of history's way, but I suppose it was inevitable once Will and Geordi decided to participate in the _Phoenix_'s maiden flight."

Janeway smothered a smile. "As someone who's done her fair share of time travel, I understand how hard it is not to have an effect — even a peripheral one," she said, recalling _Voyager_'s trip to 1996 Los Angeles.

The door opened and a strong compact male in a maroon Starfleet uniform entered with another younger Captain in tow. Janeway recognized both of them immediately — Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Hikaru Sulu. She'd had the strange privilege of being on the _Excelsior_ with Sulu whilst sharing Tuvok's memories of the explosion of Praxis more than eighty years earlier.

"Jimmee!" A felinoid Captain leapt from the stairs and wrapped her arms and legs around Kirk's body in an exuberant hug. Kirk blushed and Janeway smothered a smile — it was easy to see where the other Captain's reputation had come from.

"Kirk," Picard breathed, recognizing him instantly also. After all, he'd actually met Kirk in one of his more peculiar encounters during the final days of the _Enterprise_-D. Kirk had apparently become enveloped in some nexus, rather than being killed on the _Enterprise_-B's maiden flight as everyone had thought. He'd spent decades in that nexus, until Picard had persuaded him to leave in order to help save the citizens of the Veridian System from a madman's plans. Kirk had died helping Picard, and Picard had been the one to bury him.

Janeway wasn't above a little awe herself. After all, these two Captains had helped shape lives, politics and civilizations of the 23rd century and even into the 24th, with Captain Sulu's grandchild sponsoring Chakotay's application to the Academy. But, like Picard, she knew how to control herself — they'd both danced around with the timeline far too often not to appreciate just how fragile it could be.

Speaking of which … The elderly lady — Charlotte — returned and tugged at Hompaq's arm. "Come join us," she said.

Hompaq snarled and shook her head. "I don't care for stories about Vulcan discipline," she said. "When you told me about the attack on your missile silo and those honorless Romulan _p'taks_, it was interesting, but after that …". She shrugged and took another gulp of her warnog.

"I'd never realized your people were so one-dimensional," Charlotte said mildly yet maliciously.

Hompaq scowled in acknowledgment of the direct hit, then let loose with a laugh. She slapped the frail-looking woman on the back. "Well done, old woman!" she said. "Perhaps your years with the Vulcans haven't broken your human spirit, after all!"

The elderly female didn't even stagger — she was evidently much stronger than she looked. "So, refill your warnog and come sit down with us," she said. "After my story, I'll listen to one of yours."

Hompaq's eyes widened. "You want to hear a Klingon story?"

"Of course," Charlotte replied. "You're an interesting people, and your prowess for story-telling is matched only by your skill with a _bat'leth_."

Hompaq barked with laughter. "Oh, you're good!" she said. "It's at times like this that I wish our people were still enemies — I would enjoy facing you in battle!"

"Maybe another time," Charlotte said. "Cap; another warnog for Hompaq."

It was funny, Janeway mused. As the older woman spent more time in this place, she was shedding her Vulcan-like restraint and becoming a strong passionate female, more than capable of dealing with Hompaq's aggression.

Hompaq pulled back one of the heavy chairs and gulped at her warnog. "So, old woman; continue your story," she said. "But if it doesn't become interesting soon, I will personally throw you into a warp core."

"So, no pressure, hmm?" Charlotte sipped at her Altair water with a Mona Lisa smile.


	10. New Life

**10 — New Life**

I woke up next to Sutak and stretched lazily. We'd been together for two weeks now, and I'd never been happier in my life. "Good morning," I said to my husband.

"Good morning," he replied solemnly, extending his fingers.

I brushed them with mine, then levered myself out of the bed. "Coffee?" I asked.

"Please," he replied.

I wandered out into the kitchen and mulled over the events of the last couple of weeks. When I thought back to that time, much of it was hazy. I remembered anger, passion and laughter, both mine and Sutak's. As he'd predicted, the fires of _plak-tow_ had made any notion of nerves a moot point, and I'd been more than ready when we came together just a week after my collapse at the temple of Gol.

The madness had not lasted long — once we were truly bonded, we both felt the beginnings of sanity less than three days later — and were able to pick up the pieces of our interrupted lives. After all, we weren't animals. Most of the time, anyway.

I felt a consciousness tugging at me. I looked around, puzzled. I'd learned how to recognize Sutak's consciousness, although I wasn't truly telepathic, and this wasn't it. This consciousness seemed barely formed, as if that of a baby.

A baby! I clattered the heating unit, startled. Was I pregnant? Could a human even conceive with a Vulcan without extensive medical intervention? I switched on the heating unit, then put my hand on my stomach and reached out with my empathic senses. I felt the consciousness touching me more strongly; I was pregnant.

And now I was scared. My mother had miscarried four times before having me, and then she'd died shortly after my birth. I wanted this child, and I wanted him or her to grow up with a mother and a father. She or he deserved nothing less than the best.

But would a half human be accepted here? Or a half Vulcan on Earth? During the time since first contact, relations between Vulcans and humans had not progressed very well. The Vulcans were understandably cautious about giving humans technology that we simply weren't ready for, but that didn't save some of those Vulcans — especially Soval — from being something of a bigot. And, unfortunately, some of my people were proving the Vulcans right — they weren't ready to go out into the galaxy.

I yelped as Sutak appeared in front of me. "Are you well, Charlotte?" he asked.

"Sorry," I gabbled nervously, switching the heating unit on. "Coffee's coming up." I looked into his beautiful dark eyes and smiled slightly. I felt his love and deep concern, and knew I could keep nothing from him. "Oh, I'm well," I said. "More than well. Fantastic, even. But I'm scared too."

"Charlotte."

That firm tone cut through my rambling and I sighed. "I think we need to see your healer, Sutak," I said. "I'm pregnant."

His eyebrow arched. "It would appear humans and Vulcans are more compatible than was originally believed," he said.

"I guess even Vulcans can make mistakes," I retorted mildly, then was hit by a wave of dizziness. "Whoa; trippy," I muttered as the room spun wildly. I sat down on the nearest surface and put my hand to Sutak's face. "I want this baby, Sutak," I said firmly. "I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens."

"Then we are of like mind, my wife," he replied calmly. "I am very pleased at this news."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

T'Sera, Sutak's healer, ran a tricorder over me. Her eyebrow tilted. "You are indeed with child, Charlotte," she said solemnly. "I offer you my felicitations," she added.

"Thanks," I said, conscious of Sutak standing next to me. Even now, after the fires of _pon farr_ had been slaked, I still wanted to be with him. "But I thought humans and Vulcans couldn't conceive without help?"

"That is what was believed, based on the differences in physiology," she said. "There was a minor genetic drift that has given you your empathic abilities; perhaps that drift has enabled you to conceive naturally."

"Perhaps?" I teased gently. Speculating without hard evidence tended to leave the Vulcan decidedly cranky.

"We have insufficient facts to enable a working hypothesis to be drawn up," she said flatly. "Would you permit a full genetic scan of both you and your child? It will not be dangerous, but it is not comfortable."

"Okay; now you've got me curious," I admitted. "Knock yourself out."

T'Sera had known me for nearly six months now; she was accustomed to my odd North-Am expressions and therefore did not query me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Several hours later, T'Sera finished her tests and I sighed with relief. Although they hadn't hurt exactly, she'd been right when she'd said they weren't comfortable. Every muscle ached and I felt exhausted.

"How unexpected," she said, her face buried in a science reader. The blue light from the reader gave her slightly green skin an odd glow. "Very interesting." Her tolerance for teasing was high, but I suspected I'd reached my limit in one respect — lately, she tended to avoid the word 'fascinating'.

I could almost hear the eyebrow going upward. "What's so interesting? You've taken scans of me before."

"Not to this level," she replied, turning to face me. "I wish to speak with both you and Sutak," she added.

Now I was worried. Although her unflappable Vulcan face showed no emotion, there was something about those words that warned me bad news was on the way. I got up from the bed and pattered over to the door. "Sutak," I said.

He came into the examination room. "You have finished?" he inquired.

"Indeed," T'Sera replied. "And I have found something … most intriguing. I believed it was best for me to tell you together."

"Well, tell us already," I said. "Ignorance is not bliss."

"I have detected Vulcan genetic markers in your cells," T'Sera said.

I stared at her stupidly. "Say what?" I blurted out. "I'm not human?" Maybe ignorance was bliss, after all.

"Not entirely," she said, no apology in her voice. "Our tests indicate you are third generation human; that your second forefather was Vulcan."

Vulcan relationships weren't exactly the same as human; second forefather was the closest they could come to describing great grandfather. I flopped back down on the bed. I'd never met my great grand-father; he'd died shortly before I was born. "But I remember my grandparents," I protested. "Wouldn't I have known if they were part Vulcan?" I sighed. "No, of course I wouldn't. I didn't know Vulcans existed back then."

"And it is likely they did not know of their heritage," Sutak said smoothly. "But I am curious as to how a human and a Vulcan could have produced a child in your 20th century without extensive medical intervention."

"Genetic alterations?" I said, already detached from the shocking news. "After all, your people have been observing humans for years. It wouldn't have taken a lot of work to get past the medical knowledge of a hundred years ago. And Mestral would have had to alter his blood too; one cut and it'd be all over for him."

Now two eyebrows arched. "Your second forefather's name was Mestral?" T'Sera asked.

"Yep," I said. "You've heard of him?"

"Mestral is a popular name on Vulcan," Sutak replied, "but an individual named Mestral served on a Vulcan ship that was observing Earth approximately one hundred years ago. The ship crashed, killing most of the crew. We understood that three of the crew took refuge in a small town called Carbon Creek for several of your months, but Mestral died in the intervening time of a pernicious human infection against which Vulcans had no protection."

"If it's the same Mestral, someone's been lying their ass off," I said. "But I guess we'll never know for sure."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I lay on the bed, my thoughts whirling. Maybe this was why I'd never really felt like I belonged on Earth? I wasn't human. And my part Vulcan blood would explain why I'd felt the _plak-tow_ so severely — according to T'Sera, I shouldn't have experienced the collapse Vulcans experienced if I was fully human.

Sutak had been just as shocked by T'Sera's findings as I'd been but, typically, had not shown it in any way. I wished I had his stoicism; now the first shock was over, I had no idea what to think … or do.

I'd never known my great grandfather, but I was remembering more and more about my grandmother, Sarah (a corruption of T'Sera, perhaps?). She'd never seemed other-worldly, although children are the most adaptable of creatures; their reality a fluid and constantly changing environment. But with the hindsight of this knowledge and the distance of adulthood, it occurred to me that she'd been preternaturally calm, especially in contrast with my big jovial grandfather.

The door opened and Sutak walked in, followed closely by T'Mir. "I'm not in the mood for company right now, Sutak," I said.

"You need to hear this, Charlotte," Sutak declared. "T'Mir," he added with a nod to the other Vulcan.

She came over to me and looked at me closely. "Yes," she said. "Now I know of the kinship, I can detect something of Mestral in your features."

"You knew my great grandfather?" I asked. I sat up, the lethargy fading rapidly away.

"I … was one of the crew who lived in Carbon Creek during your 20th century," she said. "Mestral became enamored of humanity, and chose to stay behind. We could not have forced him to come with us, so we concocted a cover story." She tilted an eyebrow. "Is he still alive?"

"No," I said. "He died shortly before I was born, but at least he didn't have to go through the war. Even a Vulcan … enamored of humanity would have been appalled by those years." I shook my head. "Senseless waste."

"Indeed," T'Mir said. "It is … ironic that I should have become friends with Mestral's human kin — I did not understand his desire to remain on Earth."

"Life's full of ironies," I said, "but I value our friendship, even if I do stink at Kal'to."

Her eyebrow arched. "I value our association also, Charlotte Logan," she said. "You should really have a Vulcan name, as one who is bonded."

Puzzled at this non sequitur, I shook my head. "I may be part Vulcan and married to a Vulcan, but I'm not ready to give up my humanity," I said. "I still think my people and yours can do good things together."

What approximated to a smile ghosted over her mouth. "Mestral believed the same of humans more than a hundred years ago; he saw the potential for your species."

I shook my head once more as the room spun wildly around me. "Dizzy," I muttered.

"You need to rest now, my wife," Sutak said gently yet firmly. He touched his two fingers to mine "You have had two disturbing revelations today; you must allow yourself time to deal with the ramifications."

I shrugged. "That's isn't the way human minds work, Sutak," I said. "We tend to block out the shock until we're able to cope with it. If we try to deal with it beforehand, we achieve nothing." I smiled, but with no happiness. "But I'm not human, am I? Or not entirely."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I woke up several hours later, surprised at how rested I felt. I rolled off the bed and headed to the sonic shower, musing on what had happened. I put my hand on my stomach, although logically I knew there were no physical signs of my pregnancy. It was the age old instinct of women to want to touch the new life.

I pulled a soft umber robe out of the closet and yanked it over my head, wondering what I was letting myself in for. I'd delivered a few babies in the past, and was fully aware of the facts of life. But that was for human childbirth. I was part Vulcan and for all I knew the gestation period for Vulcans could be two years. Yet I couldn't bring myself to feel regret. I loved Sutak, he loved me, we'd gotten married and now we were having a baby. All other considerations were irrelevant. And I certainly didn't want my developing baby to feel unwanted.

I put my hand on my stomach again. _You are wanted, little one, _I sent to him or her. _I thought you would be half Vulcan, but it turns out you're a little more Vulcan than that. But that makes no difference to how Sutak and I feel about you. We will always love you. Even if he and you never say it, I'll know it._

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Sutak looked at me as I made my way through breakfast. "I thought you did not like ginger tea," he said.

"I don't," I said, pouring myself another cup of the scalding brew. "But Junior wants it." I grinned slightly. "I don't know about Vulcan pregnancies, but human ones lead to … odd cravings. It's usually our body's way of seeking vital nutrients."

He dipped his head. "Vulcan females experience similar … cravings," he said. "How are you dealing with what has occurred?" Vulcan for 'Are you going to wig out on me?'

"I'm doing okay," I mumbled around a forkful of pancakes. I'd managed to find a flour-analog in Shir'Kahr and was enjoying pancakes for the first time in months. They were fluffier than Earth-style pancakes, and the taste was … nuttier, but they were delicious nonetheless. I chewed and swallowed. "In the end, you either cope or you go nuts. I don't plan on losing my mind anytime soon, so I'll get used to it."

"I am sure you will adapt quickly," Sutak said. "You have shown a great ability to adapt to new and sudden changes in your life — I am sure you will deal with this event with your usual stoicism."

I smiled at my husband, touched at the sentiment, even if it wasn't very accurate — I was nowhere close to my usual stoicism. "I admire your confidence even if it is misplaced," I said, taking another sip of the tea and grimacing at the bitter taste. I'd always been something of a sweet-tooth, but it appeared Junior was taking after Sutak.

Sutak patted his lips with a napkin, then got up. "I must go," he said. "My shuttle leaves for the _T'Plana-Hath_ in three hours."

I smiled at him, glad they'd managed to get the ship back. The Rihannsu had left it on Rigel Four and a skeleton crew from the _Intrepid_ was bringing it back to Vulcan. "I'm glad you've got the ship back — let's just hope they haven't left any little booby traps in there."

"Indeed," he responded.

"What did they want the _T'Plana-Hath_ for, anyway?" I asked. "You never told me."

Sutak arched an eyebrow. "I was not present at the negotiations," he said. "And even had I been, it is unlikely I could have ascertained the Rihannsu's motivations. We may share a common ancestry, but culturally they are far more alien to me than you are."

I grinned slightly. "Wait till my hormones kick in," I teased. "Then you won't think I'm not alien."

He touched two gentle fingers to my temple. "You are my wife, and we share a bond that transcends species," he said. "Do you not feel that?"

A tear leaked out at this declaration. "Yes, I do," I admitted. I covered his hand with mine, then sniffled and coughed. "Damn; you Vulcans have a way with words," I added, dabbing furiously at my eyes.

"If you wish to cry, Charlotte, then do so," Sutak said. "I have no desire for you to suppress your emotions."

Grabbing a napkin, I wiped my eyes, then stared at him. "You don't?"

"Indeed not." He appeared faintly scandalized at the suggestion. "I treasure the diversity between our species that you represent — it would be illogical for you to deny who you are."

I smiled at him. "I love logic," I said, then stretched. "Anyway, you have a shuttle to catch, and I've got to go to work, so you'd better shove off."

A ghost of a smile flickered over his face. "In that case, I will leave," he said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Five months later:

I sighed as I got up from my desk, wondering where the hell my waistline had gone. If anyone had told me a month could make such a difference, I would have told that idiot to take a running leap.

Someone knocked on the door. "Come in," I called out, heading to the water cooler I'd had installed. Between the Vulcan summer and my pregnancy, my thermostat was completely screwed up.

In walked the last person I'd expected to see. "Live long and prosper," he said.

"Peace and long life, Soval," I said. "What brings you here?" I added.

"I have someone with me who wishes to meet you," he said.

"Okay — show them in," I said, ignoring the lift of his eyebrow as his gaze reached my stomach — my pregnancy was now quite apparent.

Soval stood to one side and a human woman walked in. No; not human, I corrected, seeing the markings dappling the sides of her head. Her species looked familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. "Welcome to Vulcan," I said, filling a glass with icy cold water. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Please," the woman said. "My people don't cope very well with the heat. My name is Lela Dax."

I clicked my fingers as I handed the glass to her. "You're Trill," I said, pouring myself a glass. I turned to Soval. "Would you care for a drink, Ambassador?" I asked politely.

He dipped his head. "That would be most … welcome," he said just as politely. "After several months away, I have become acclimatized to other temperatures." He arched an eyebrow. "Even Vulcans find our summers difficult to cope with," he admitted.

Progress! The guy was actually admitting he had a weakness. I handed him my glass, then turned back to the water cooler. "Won't you have a seat?" I asked, sighing as Junior delivered a healthy kick to my midsection. My dad had once told me I'd beaten seven kinds of shite out of my mother when she was expecting me. It seemed my little monster was taking after me in that respect — bless his pointy little ears.

"Thank you," Lela Dax said. "Forgive me if I seem … awkward, but I'm not used to dealing with aliens."

"Tell me about it!" I rejoined. At her quizzical look, I explained. "The Vulcans made contact with my people less than a year ago." Official contact, anyway. "Since then, I've met the Rihannsu and now your people. But there are likely thousands more to meet."

Lela nodded her head. "When T'Pau told me of the contact with your people, she did not mention any of you would have left your planet already."

"That's a long story, Lela," I said, liking her, "and I'd be happy to tell you more. Would you like to come to dinner tonight — both of you?" I figured I might as well start mending some fences.

Soval appeared startled. "Thank you, but I am unable to attend — I have a prior engagement," he said. "Council-woman Dax?"

The Trill smiled at me — those age-old eyes gleaming with a hint of mischief. "I'd like to have dinner," she said.

"Good," I replied. "Oh, and don't worry — my home is a lot cooler than here. Sutak installed air conditioning a few months ago." I felt rather than saw the muscles work in Soval's jaw, and realized he still disapproved of a primitive like me marrying a Vulcan. I was tempted to tell him I was actually one eighth Vulcan, but resisted. Maybe another time.

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"Hello," Lela Dax said, her discomfiture evident — hell, it would have been obvious even to a non-empath!

"Hi," I said, wishing I could speak Trill — Lela's Vulcan was pretty good, but was still at the basics. After nearly a year here, my Vulcan was nearly flawless. "Come on in," I added.

She came in and sighed with relief as the delicious coolness of the air conditioning hit her. It was a good job Sutak was offworld — he'd have frozen to death. "It's hot out there!" she commented.

"Hotter than hell," I agreed. "When I first came here, I thought I was going to die, but I adapted quickly."

"Are you … pregnant?" Lela asked as my abdomen gave a peculiar bulge.

"Yes," I sighed. "Although sometimes I feel like some alien life form is playing havoc with my insides. You have no idea."

Lela smiled again. "I wouldn't be too sure of that, if I were you," she said mischievously.

"Now you've got me curious," I admitted, tucking my hand through her arm and drawing her into the living room. The spare elegance of the room had altered somewhat during my tenure, and now reflected my tastes as well as Sutak's. A picture of Mount Seleya graced the largest wall, and several large cushions dotted the polished floorboards.

I blinked as I sensed something from the Trill — a duality, maybe? Then I dismissed it. She was a stranger in a strange land talking to someone with a dual nature — that was bound to mess up my empathic impressions.

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Three months later:

I sighed as I waddled down the corridor, and wondered what I'd done to deserve this. I was now a week overdue — by human standards, anyway — yet my little Vulcan showed no interest in making an appearance.

At least the Vulcan summer had ended, I mused — it had been almost unbearable at times, and I'd been sorely tempted to stow away on the next transport to any ice planet.

I shook my head as my vision swam, and stumbled into Sutak. He put a hand on my arm — for a Vulcan, he was very touchy-feely. "You are well, my wife?" he inquired.

"Oh, just peachy," I grumbled, his solicitous concern annoying me. The rational part of me was glad for his reassuring presence, but the rest of me just wanted to be left alone. The poor guy was probably wishing he'd married a Vulcan woman instead — they wouldn't be as mean as I was. I sighed and brushed his fingers with mine.

"Sorry to be such a pain," I added. "I warned you my hormones would be all over the place, didn't I?"

"Indeed," he acknowledged, a small twinkle in his eyes. "Are you sure you wish to attend this reception? They will understand if you need to go home."

"Sutak …," I growled. "I love you, but you're driving me crazy. Stop smothering me." We entered the reception hall of the Academy and I nodded to my various friends and colleagues.

"Charlie?"

No-one on Vulcan called me Charlie. I turned round and saw … Zefram Cochrane. For some odd reason, I was delighted to see him again. "Hi, Zee!" I said in English. Outside of my occasional tutorials with the language students, I hadn't spoken English in public for over a year. "Great Bird, Zee, you haven't changed a bit."

"Can't say the same for you, Charlie," Zee said. He nudged me. "So, who's the daddy?" he added with a wink.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Zee," Lily Sloane said, smiling at me. She and Zee seemed much more at peace than the last time I saw them. Evidently, the relationship between humans and Vulcans had done them good. "Can't you see she's gotten married?"

I put my hand up to my ear-ring with a small smile. "That's right," I said. "About a year ago." I indicated Sutak, who was standing quietly beside me. "I believe you've already met," I added mischievously.

Zee's eyes widened. "But he's an ali ..!" He stopped short and sighed. "En. He's an alien," he finished.

"Actually, Zee, we're the aliens here," Lily said, although she couldn't hide her embarrassment from me.

Zee went red. "Yeah," he said. "Sorry, Sutak," he added.

Sutak dipped his head. "It's quite understandable," he said. "A number of Vulcans were … surprised that I chose to bond with an offworlder."

Zee grunted. "Namin' no names, huh?" he said. He stuck out his hand, then thought better of it. "Live long and prosper," he said in basic but good Vulcan. "Now, d'you mind if we steal Charlie for a while — we got a lot of catching up to do."

"You go and talk to T'Pau," I said, seeing the female move through the reception room. "You know you want to."

"Indeed." His eyebrow lifted and he brushed his fingers against mine.

I watched him go, then turned to Zee and Lily, my mental shields firmly in place. "Let's sit down," I said. "I'm a bit tired."

"No wonder," Lily said, her beautiful large eyes searching me intently. "You look like you're … I dunno … ten years pregnant."

I chuckled. "Right now, I feel like it," I admitted, shifting my bulk. "I'm about a week overdue, so I feel like I'm going to burst."

"You know, Charlie; I always thought you and Sutak had something going on, but I didn't think you'd marry him," Zee said.

I was startled at his perspicacity. "Were we that obvious?" I said.

"Only to the ones who knew you best," Lily said. "Tell us the truth here, Charlie — are you happy?"

"I am," I replied without hesitation. "But I do miss being able to listen to the Beatles."

"Well, looky here," Zee said, digging in his pocket. He produced a music disk. "I had this recorded on our way here."

"Great Bird!" I blurted out, clutching the disk. "A little bit of Earth!" Tears lurked, but I refused to give in to them. I touched Zee's cheek gently. "Thank you," I added gravely.

Zee went pink and cleared his throat. "Yeah … well," he said. "You're a good kid, Charlie," he offered. "You deserve to be happy. And … well … if happiness is baking your brains on some planet in another part of the galaxy, then good luck to you."

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, distracted by Junior's gyrations. I took a deep breath and smiled at Zee and Lily, glad the aching had subsided for the time being. The hell with what T'Sera said — if this kid didn't show up soon, then I was getting the little bugger induced.

I looked at Zee, puzzled. Something had changed — not just the fact that he'd shaved. I let my shields down slightly and gasped. "You're sober!" I blurted out.

Zee grinned sheepishly, going pink once more. "Six months now," he said.

"That's great," I said enthusiastically. Ever since Sutak's declaration that he enjoyed me just as I was, I'd stopped trying to suppress my emotions. Sure, I got on a few Vulcans' nerves, but the hell with them. Although I was still more sedate than most of the humans I knew, that was just who I was — maybe a little Vulcan discipline had gotten imprinted onto my DNA.

My thoughts were choked off as a new pain gripped my middle — nothing like the grumblings that had been going on for the last few days. "Whoa," I muttered.

"Whoa what?" Lily said. Then she touched my hand. "Are you in labor?" she asked.

"I … don't know. Maybe," I said, maneuvering unsteadily to my feet. "It feels better now I'm not sitting," I added with a sheepish grin. "Sorry; must have just been a stitch."

Zee ran a hand through his hair. "Geez, Charlie, you scared the hell outta me!" he said.

"I wasn't too thrilled myself, Zee," I snapped. "You know; not everything in the galaxy's about you."

He ran his hand through his hair again. "Huh?"

"Forget it," I muttered irritably as another pain hit me. Maybe not a stitch, after all.

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"Find my happy place, find my happy place, find my happy place," I muttered as the contractions built up to a resounding crescendo.

By my side, Sutak watched the proceedings with what appeared to be typical Vulcan passivity. But I knew better. He wasn't a typical Vulcan and this wasn't a typical Vulcan birthing.

"The infant has turned," T'Sera announced calmly. "It will not be much longer, Charlotte — are you ready?"

I shook my head, fighting back tears. I'd been in labor for God knows how many hours, and I was worn out. "I can't do it," I said, leaning closer to Sutak. Although I knew he wouldn't hold my hand in public, at least he was there.

"She is exhausted," Sutak said, his voice betraying his concern. "Is there nothing you can do for her?"

T'Sera and T'Para looked at each other. "This is not a typical Vulcan birth, High Priestess," T'Sera said. "This infant is one of the first Vulcan hybrids to come successfully to term."

"And when the hell were you going to share that with me?" I said fretfully. "And don't say it was for my own good. It's my body; I have the right to know!"

Sutak knelt next to my bed. "Neither of them speaks English, Charlotte," he said.

"Huh," I grunted. "You're lucky I'm speaking anything coherently, let alone Vulcan!"

T'Sera nodded to one of the nurses, who gave her a hypo of something. She tripped the plunger into my bare leg and I felt a strange tingling sensation. "That should ease some of your pain," she said.

"Whoa," I mumbled as the tingling sensation was replaced by something new. My head felt fuzzy and pretty lights floated all around me. But at least the pain was gone. "Oh, thank you really a lot," I said.

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"The head has emerged," T'Sera said. "Push one more time, Charlotte."

I fell back against the pillows, completely used up. "Guess again," I muttered over the indignant shriek of my baby. T'Sera and T'Para regarded me calmly, and Sutak wiped my face with a wet cloth. I sighed. "Fine," I grumbled, hitching myself back up.

Sutak sat on the bed, prompting a raised eyebrow from each of the other Vulcans, and angled his body toward mine. "You may lean on me," he said in English. "You can do this."

I looked into his eyes and nodded, then leaned against him. Vulcans were much stronger than they looked and I knew he would be able to support me — physically at least. Emotionally, I wasn't so sure. Then his hands appeared on my shoulders, working their Vulcan magic into my knotted muscles, and I sighed. "Oh, that's better."

Gathering up my resolve, I sank my teeth into my lower lip and began to push again. I was so wiped out by this point I barely even noticed when my little Vulcan shot free, to the accompaniment of more squawks.

"He appears healthy," T'Sera said, doing … whatever Vulcans did after childbirth.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, my eyes closing.

"You are to be congratulated, Charlotte," T'Para added. "This is a special time in Vulcan history."

I mustered my weary head to speak in Vulcan. "Thank you," I said around a mighty yawn. "Where's the baby?"

T'Sera's nurse came over to me, bearing the baby. Wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, and now quiet, I couldn't credit that it was the same baby who had been shrieking infant profanities only minutes earlier. I stretched my arms up and the nurse laid the baby in my arms. A tear lurked out as I looked at him. "He's definitely Vulcan," I said, tracing the delicately pointed little ears and eyebrows.

"Indeed," Sutak agreed. "But that was to be expected — Vulcan genes are very strong, and he is more than half Vulcan."

"Oh, geez," I grumbled with a grin, "how am I going to handle living with two Vulcans in the house? You'll drive me crazy."

The baby snuffled, then opened his eyes. "Hi," I said softly. "So you're the one that's been kicking me these last few months."

He gave me a placid stare in return; one that seemed to be saying "Well, you're the one who kept eating all that spicy food."


	11. KahsWan

_A/N: Sorry for the long delay between postings (over a month!), but I was hugely blocked. But I've now finished this story so will post this part and the rest in one go to make up for it. Thanks for the great reviews, and the little kick up the butt I so evidently needed (Tatsu-Zzmage)._

* * *

**11 — Kahs-wan**

"I wish you wouldn't," I said.

"I am a Vulcan," our son responded, his arms folded defiantly over his chest.

Looking at Storel now, I could barely believe he was part human. Not a trace of his human genes showed. He had his father's looks (already handsome at only ten) and bearing. He had my temperament — for now, at least. No doubt as he grew older, he would emulate the full-blooded Vulcans and control his emotions.

I'd never made any attempt to do so. In the years since our marriage, I'd … well, blossomed, I suppose (oh, someone shoot me now for using the word 'blossomed'!). I was surrounded by people who accepted me and respected me despite my many flaws, I'd become an administrator in the English department at the new academy in Shana'Kai, and I had a husband and son who loved me — even though they'd never say it out loud.

I'd also spent time with T'Para and the clerics, developing my psi abilities. My telepathic rating wasn't very high — I could communicate with my family and gifted Vulcans, but that was enough. However, my empathic rating was extremely high — not requiring physical contact, it was different to that of Vulcan sensitivity. There'd always been rumors (fed no doubt by my father) that my family was descended from an Irish witch who'd died during the Salem trials. Maybe what the Pilgrims had feared and burned as sorcery was simply a high-level empathy?

I sighed heavily and regarded my son. At only ten, he was already nearly as tall as me, with the wiry strength common to the Vulcan race. "You are a Vulcan," I acknowledged, "but you're also part human. Is it logical to deny who you are?"

An eyebrow crawled up the young forehead, then he frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not ashamed of my heritage, Mother," Storel said. "I celebrate Christmas with you and my middle name is an English one. But I live on Vulcan and I go to school with Vulcans. I want to do this."

The plaintive wail of childhood — "I just want to be like everyone else". I sighed again, and pushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. "Well, then you must do it," I replied.

A beam appeared on my solemn son's face — solemn when he remembered, anyway. "Thanks," he said. "And I'm going to win, too! That'll shut up Soval!"

"Ambassador Soval," I corrected in rebuke, although I couldn't rebuke the sentiment. The years that had passed since our first encounter had not lessened the Vulcan's animosity toward me, but for him to spread his bigoted poison around my son was … well, it was intolerable!

However, more than eleven years of living on Vulcan had taught me how to stop projecting my emotions. Therefore, Storel was unaware of my less than charitable thoughts regarding Soval.

"Ambassador Soval," Storel acknowledged, then raised an eyebrow. "His head is up where, Mother?"

I stared at my son. The standard tests that all Vulcans took upon entering school had indicated that Storel — like most Vulcans — was telepathic only via touch. There had been the rare instance of a non-touch telepath, but none in recent history — certainly not since the Reformation.

He stared back placidly. "Yes, Mother — I can read your thoughts," he said. "And I'm sorry for intruding."

No wonder he'd been so hostile to Soval! He'd no doubt picked up on the ambassador's subtle brand of nastiness toward me and, like children everywhere, was defending his parents in the only way available to a ten year old — rebellion.

With this revelation came the realization that it would be best for Storel to choose the Vulcan way rather than to emulate human behavior. I felt a stab of guilt for expecting him to choose between two cultures — I couldn't do it and I was thirty four years old!

In a rare gesture for a Vulcan — or any ten year old, for that matter — Storel put an arm around me. "Even though I've chosen to be Vulcan, I haven't rejected my human heritage," he said. "That would be like rejecting you, and I couldn't do that." He dropped the arm. "I must begin preparing for the _kahs-wan_," he added.

"Okay," I replied. "Will T'Mina be present?"

Storel nodded his head. "She'll be participating too," he said. "She'll be a worthy opponent."

I smiled slightly. Three years ago, Storel and T'Mina had been bonded — against my better judgment at the time. But now I'd resigned myself to it. When on Vulcan, yadda yadda yadda …, the thing, the thing, the thing …

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Flashback — four years earlier:

"My wife," Sutak said solemnly, extending his fingers toward mine.

I brushed his fingers, then smiled at him. "What is it, Sutak?" I asked merrily. "You look very solemn. I haven't done anything particularly bad today — just ask T'Para."

"In less than a year, our son will be seven years of age," Sutak responded, accepting the cup of Tarkalean tea I offered. "It is at that age that most Vulcans are bonded."

I frowned. "I think I know where you're going with this, Sutak. You've had a lot of dealings with Stepn lately — you want Storel and T'Mina to bond."

His dark eyes glinted with affection. "I should have learned by now that I can keep no secrets from you," he admitted.

"Why?" I said. "You weren't bonded as a child — if you had been, we couldn't have married, and Storel wouldn't exist." I hugged my arms to myself, feeling suddenly chilled. "Do you … regret us?"

"Of course not," he declared warmly. "You are the mistress of my heart. But there is not another human female like you ready to take possession of Storel's heart. He is more than half Vulcan, and we agreed when he was born that he should be brought up in the Vulcan traditions."

"Uh," I grunted. "I'm just wondering how my life would have turned out if I hadn't gone into the Crash & Burn that day you arrived." I smiled to soften the gibe, then ran my fingers through my hair, dislodging the complicated arrangement of loops and coils. "Well, do I at least get to meet T'Mina before a decision is made?"

An eyebrow shot up. "I regret my lapse," he said, "but I confess that I thought you were acquainted already with the young lady. You have, after all, been friends with Stepn for several years."

The aforementioned Stepn had been one of my colleagues at the Science Academy, and I'd facilitated the friendship between him and Sutak — that was a bad day's work on my part, I thought bitterly. There was something so … archaic about an arranged marriage to my North-Am-centric mind.

I pushed my hand through my hair with an irritated sigh and, as I did so, the flash of an emerald caught my eye. The ring had been Sutak's present to me for our fifth year of marriage. Although Vulcans didn't wear wedding rings or celebrate anniversaries, he'd chosen to honor human custom by giving me an eternity ring. I sighed again — if Sutak could overcome his innate Vulcan-ness to give me something as sentimental as an eternity ring, then surely I could put my North-Am prejudices aside and at least meet this kid? "Fine," I grumbled at last, well aware the Vulcan summer was making me unusually cranky. "Let's do this."

I headed into the bedroom and applied my suncream, then grabbed my floppy hat before joining Sutak outside. I recoiled from the blistering heat, then set my jaw and followed my husband's elegant form to the gate.

My disapproval of the idea must have been clear to Sutak, for he showed even less inclination to talk as we made the short walk to Stepn's house. "Well, for crying out loud, say something!" I muttered crossly in English. Although I was now fluent in the Vulcan tongue, certain North-Am expressions just did not translate into the austere Vulcan language.

"Forgive me, Charlotte," he apologized. "I was meditating on a personnel quandary — T'Sev has chosen to accept command of the shuttleport on P'Jem, leaving me to choose a new First Officer."

"Charlotte Logan," a new voice said.

I turned and beheld a Vulcan male of about my own age. I could swear I'd never met him before, yet he looked … familiar. "Sonak," I said, recognizing him now. He'd served on the _T'Plana-Hath_ during its visit to Earth and had made my acquaintance in the Crash & Burn. However, after the Rihannsu hijacking, I'd not seen him again and had presumed him dead.

He bowed slightly. "I must confess I did not expect to find you still here on Vulcan," he said. He turned to Sutak, seeming to just now see him, then gave the ritualistic Vulcan greeting. "Live long and prosper, Sutak."

Sutak returned the greeting "Peace and long life" coolly enough, although it seemed to me that he'd experienced a flash of dislike for the younger male. "I recently learned that you have entered the Science Academy — I trust that your studies are profitable."

"Indeed," Sonak replied, his gray eyes fixed on me.

I shifted uncomfortably, unnerved by the steady scrutiny. "Hey, pal, quit gawping at me," I snapped at him — once again, in English.

A wave of discomfort shot through him before I could get my shields up. "I apologize, Charlotte," he said. "But you are … very lovely."

A Vulcan rarely complimented someone's looks even when they were bonded, and my eyes widened as his emotions poured into my unwilling mind. Even without touching me, he seemed able to communicate telepathically — I knew of no full Vulcan with that kind of telepathy.

"My wife." Sutak put a hand on my arm, and I felt his shields shore up my own defenses. "We must go," he added to Sonak. "Live long and prosper."

"Peace and long life," Sonak got out, then turned and strode briskly away.

I sat down heavily on a bench. "What the hell was that?" I blurted out.

Sutak dipped his head and his eyes glinted with humor and affection. "You do not know?" he said. "Sonak came to me the day before you boarded the _T'Plana-Hath_ to seek my advice — he wished to approach you, but did not know how to do so with an Earth female."

I was stunned — surely my empathy should have picked up on his feelings for me! Then again, I'd had no idea about Sutak's feelings toward me before we bonded, and we'd spent weeks in each other's company. "Okay," I said slowly. "But he could see from this" — I tapped my ear-ring — "that I'm bonded, so what could he hope to gain from complimenting me?"

I felt a wave of anger as I recalled how he'd practically undressed me with his eyes. "The nerve of him — I should have knocked him from here to Ch'Rihan." I felt rather than saw Sutak's eyebrow lift, and realized it may have been more than the hot weather that was making me so irritable — after all, I'd made it through the last six summers without wanting to kill anyone. "Oh, crap," I groaned.

"Indeed," Sutak replied.

End flashback

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I knew I shouldn't have allowed this," I fretted, pacing back and forth.

A glint appeared in T'Para's eyes — the High Priestess seemed … amused by me. "Storel is a stubborn child — he would have prevailed eventually. I believe you knew that when you agreed to this."

"Uh," I grunted, conceding the point. Since she'd joined Sutak and I more than eleven years ago, I'd spent a lot of time with her and had been privileged to have her call me 'friend'. The High Priestess was a lonely woman — her husband had died two years earlier and she'd been disinclined to rebond, and her position ensured her distance from her fellow Vulcans. I'd often been lonely before I met Sutak, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. "Yeah — he gets that stubborn streak from Sutak," I added.

Another gleam appeared in T'Para's eyes and the corners of her mouth lifted slightly. "As you humans would say, he came by it honestly. His parents were, by Vulcan standards, mavericks."

"Tell me about them," I said. Sutak's parents had died a couple of years before I'd met him, traveling a hazardous part of space known as the Delphic Expanse. The Expanse had assumed an almost mythical quality in many races' cultures — much like Earth's own Bermuda Triangle — and it was true that no ship that ventured there had ever returned to tell the tale.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Flashback — Four years earlier

I sat down in Stepn's living room and accepted a glass of iced tea gratefully. I sipped it and started as I tasted the distinctive flavor of bergamot. "Earl Grey," I mused. "Where did this come from?"

"My wife spent some time on Earth several years ago, and developed an appreciation for the beverage," Stepn responded. "She brought back several crates of tea — I thought you would … enjoy a little taste of home."

"Well, Vulcan is home, but I have missed this," I said. Earl Grey had been pretty hard to get hold of after the war — the Brits wanting to hang onto what was left of their diminished stocks.

A young girl rushed into the house, followed closely by a _sehlat_ — a large, fanged, bear-like creature that the Vulcans had bred to be as loyal and protective as dogs. "Father," she said delightedly, then stopped, abashed to find herself in the presence of a stranger — namely me. "Hello, Sutak," she added formally.

"T'Mina," Sutak replied just as solemnly, "I would like you to meet she who is my wife, _T'Sai_ Charlotte." _T'Sai_ was a Vulcan honorific for a married female, and translated somewhat inadequately in English to 'the Lady'.

Little T'Mina raised her hand in the Vulcan greeting. "Peace and long life, _T'Sai_ Charlotte," she said, stumbling slightly over my name.

Something tugged at me about this little scrap aping adult ways, but I returned the greeting. "Live long and prosper, T'Mina," I said. I raised my eyebrows. "You know why we've come, don't you?" I added.

She nodded her head. "I will be seven years old in less than a year and so will Storel," she said, once again sounding older than her years. By human standards, all Vulcan children were serious, but this little pixie was abnormally so. "I don't understand why you want us to do this, though — you are an offworlder."

I grinned suddenly, amused at her bluntness. "Out of the mouths of babes …," I murmured. Like most kids, she had a way of cutting right through the crap. "I have to admit, T'Mina, I have my doubts," I said candidly, as Sutak and Stepn headed out into the garden.

T'Mina nodded. "I did too, when I realized what Father and Mother wanted." A small smile appeared on her pointed face, giving the promise of great beauty as she matured. At the moment, she reminded me rather of a young filly — all huge eyes and long slender legs. "But when I met Storel, I liked him — I believe that we would make good bond-mates."

I smiled, settling back in the chair. The _sehlat_ had gotten his head into my lap and was snoring blissfully. "You realize that Storel is partly human — he's different to the other boys you know," I said, stroking the _sehlat_'s silken head.

She returned the smile. "You have not met my mother, then, _T'Sai_ Charlotte?" she said. "She is half Rigellian; therefore, I am also not a pure Vulcan."

The Rigellians — like the Rihannsu — were an offshoot of the Vulcans, with the same physical features but without the great strength granted to their Vulcan and Rihannsu cousins. "I see," I said for lack of anything better to say.

"A child between Storel and I would be part Vulcan, part human and part Rigellian," she added — what a baby like this was doing talking seriously about children was anybody's guess! "He or she would truly represent infinite diversity in infinite combinations."

The sehlat lifted his head and glared balefully up at me — I resumed my rhythmic stroking and his eyes closed once more. "Oh," I said rather blankly. I truly had no idea what to say to this self-possessed youngster, and I vowed I would teach her how to be a child.

My eye was caught by a beautiful lyrette — a miniature version of the lyre — hanging on the wall, and I got up to investigate it, unmindful of the _sehlat_'s reproachful look. The patina of the wood suggested extreme age, and the strings were discolored, showing frequent use. "This is beautiful," I said.

"My brother gave it to me when he entered the temple of Gol," T'Mina said. "He wanted me to become a musician, but I have no gifts in that direction. Like Solkar, I am much better at mathematics."

"Solkar's your brother?" I was truly taken aback at that, for I'd known him and the other _Kolinahru_ for years now, and he'd never mentioned that he had a sister. "Vulcans are hardly blabber-mouths compared to humans, but I'm surprised he didn't at least mention it."

"My half brother," T'Mina amended composedly. "He is a son of Stepn, but his mother died several years before my birth."

I gestured to the lyrette. "May I?" I asked. I'd learned to play the instrument fairly well, and T'Mir had said I was progressing satisfactorily — high praise from a Vulcan.

T'Mina dipped her neat dark head. "Of course," she said. "I have no talent myself, but I love to listen."

I lifted the lyrette from the wall and fitted the plectron to my thumb. I plucked a few of the strings and nodded — this was probably the finest instrument I'd ever handled, the Stradivarius of lyrettes. "It's beautiful," I said, running over a scale in the major mode before breaking into tune — a Vulcan atonal piece by an up and coming musician named T'Pas.

The _sehlat_ lifted up his head as I played and snorted at me — whether that was a comment on my playing, I couldn't say. I reached the end of the piece, then hung the lyrette back up. "If you want," I said, "I can introduce you to T'Mir — she's the one who taught me, and she's really good."

"I believe," T'Mina said thoughtfully, "I would like that, _T'Sai_ Charlotte." Her third attempt at the strange English name was much more successful than the first two, I noted.

"Well," I said, "it's past four, and I'm sure you have homework to do."

"I do," T'Mina replied. She dipped her head gravely toward me, then left the living room.

I sat back down, unwilling to go back out into the afternoon heat, and mused upon little T'Mina. The _sehlat_ regarded me with pleading eyes and I grinned. "Oh, okay, you big ol' moocher," I said, patting my lap. The _sehlat_ either understood my words or more likely my actions, for he settled his head into my lap with a contented expression on his face.

Stepn and Sutak strolled into the living room from the garden and looked at me, each with a raised eyebrow. Sutak sat down next to me, prompting a wounded look from the _sehlat_, and touched his two fingers to mine. "It went well?" he asked.

"She's lovely, Sutak," I admitted, "but I'm still doubtful about pushing two little kids together. I know it's worked for Vulcans for centuries, but I can't always be logical."

Sutak's eyebrow shot up. "Indeed not," he agreed dryly.

I couldn't think up a suitably scathing retort, so I didn't respond. "Stepn," I said instead, "I'd like to say congratulations on your promotion — you worked hard and you deserve it."

Stepn dipped his head. "Thank you," he said, "but you have seniority — you should have been promoted first."

"I've made enemies," I said, shrugging. "There are a few superintendents who don't quite approve of me, but that's all right. I am who I am, and they'll have to accept me as I am — warts and all."

He perused me carefully. "I do not detect any such blemishes on your features, _T'Sai_ Charlotte," he said.

I stifled a chuckle and a yawn at the same time; the result being a weird grimace that would have put the Notre Dame gargoyles to shame. "Sorry," I said. "I'm pretty tired — Vulcan summer is almost unbearable for me."

"In that case" — Stepn rose to his feet in a fluid movement — "I will not keep you any longer."

I got up also, dislodging the _sehlat_. "We'll let you know soon, Stepn," I said as Sutak shepherded me out of the living room.

The _sehlat_ sat back on his haunches and cried after me. "The _sehlat_ seems … fond of you," Sutak said as we made our way along the busy street.

I paused to jam my hat onto my head, then smiled up at him. "And why not?" I said. "I'm pretty lovable, you know."

"Also immodest," Sutak observed dryly.

"You know; it wouldn't kill you to play along, just once," I said crossly. "I don't know why you try to hide your sense of humor — it's one of my favorite things about you."

"Charlotte; do not make a scene," he said.

A scene? He thought that was a scene? "Speak to me like that again, mister, and you'll be staring down the business end of a world-class hissy fit," I retorted in English.

Sutak switched to English also, perhaps sensing that I was in no mood to search for Vulcan phrases. "You are unusually emotional today, my wife," he said. "I too feel the ancient fires, but you should not worry. The initial madness that brought us to each other seven years ago will not be as potent this time."

I heaved a sigh and wondered how he always seemed to know just the right thing to say. I brushed his fingers with mine. "Thanks," I murmured. "I don't know how you put up with me sometimes."

"It's not an easy job, but someone has to do it," he responded, deadpan.

I spluttered with laughter, and a pair of ancient Vulcans looked at me with barely contained disapproval. "Now, that's the Sutak I know and love!" I commented.

End flashback

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

My father had always said time passed slowly when you're in hell. I'd never really understand that but now, waiting for Storel to come home, I could comprehend it.

My imagination insisted on throwing out horrible scenarios, and it seemed I was powerless to shut them out. Even the years of Vulcan discipline proved no match for the horrible thoughts bouncing around in my head.

I looked up as I felt the cool tide of my husband's thoughts. "Sutak," I breathed, getting up and brushing his fingers with mine. "When did you return?"

"Several hours ago," he responded. "I learned of Storel's participation in the ritual, and knew my place was here."

I smiled slightly, basking in the unspoken yet solid emotional support of my favorite Vulcan. The years that had passed since our meeting had had little effect on him — Vulcans aging far more slowly than humans — and he was as handsome as ever.

To me, he seemed like a lion of a man — powerful and urgent — and, in retrospect, I knew I'd fallen in love with him the minute I saw him. That he felt the same way about me still seemed like a miracle.

I gasped and went white as pain knifed through me — ever since my telepathic contact with Sonak's raw desire four years earlier, I'd struggled to maintain my shields. T'Para and her team of adepts had helped me somewhat, but they were only able to do so much.

"You are in pain, Charlotte?" T'Para rose gracefully, belying her years, and pressed her fingers to my temples, initiating a healing meld.

Some of the pain eased and I was able to nod my head. "Someone's … been hurt — _le matya_," I muttered. The _le matya_ was a predator that roamed the plains of Vulcan and was as willing to kill a Vulcan as it would a smaller animal.

After more than ten years of marriage, Sutak had learned to trust my empathic flashes — very different to Vulcan telepathy — and he put his hand on my shoulder. "We will go to Shir'Kahr," he said.

"It may not be Storel," T'Para pointed out — her attempt to comfort me. "After all, you have an empathy that extends beyond those of your family."

I smiled wanly at her, knowing that she was referring to her husband's death. He'd died suddenly when his ship was destroyed during an Andorian attack, and the sudden disconnection of their bond had almost killed T'Para too. I'd melded with her, helping to bring her out of her fugue, and had since been described as her friend.

"Thanks," I said now, heading out of the door with Sutak close behind me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was only a short journey from Gol to Shir'Kahr, but for me it was the longest trip of my life. I was the first one off the shuttle when it landed — barely waiting for the airlock to open before stepping out.

I made the half-hour stroll to the ritual grounds just outside Shir'Kahr in a mere ten minutes, anxiety having given me warp speed. I scanned the vista anxiously, trying to pick out my son from what seemed like hundreds of children, and my heart lurched as he appeared from behind a large rock, beaten and bloodied. "Storel …," I breathed.

He put up a hand. "I am quite well, Mother," he said stoically. "Suvak needs medical attention, however. Please summon assistance."

Sutak dipped his head and set off, his long strides covering the ground rapidly. I went around the rock. My hand flew up to my mouth. "Oh, no," I breathed in English.

Lying on the ground was the aforementioned Suvak. Most of his clothes had been ripped off, and he bore long gouges along his torso and face. The boy had retreated into a deep fugue state, but I could still detect his presence.

I knelt down next to him, gathering up my strength, then put my fingers gently to his temples, initiating the healing meld I'd learned from T'Para. As I did so, I felt the boy's prejudice toward offworlders, which had manifested as abuse of both Storel and T'Mina. He was kin of Soval, which explained his rotten attitude.

I could feel his mind retreat as it detected my alien presence, then I felt … confusion. _You … are Vulcan?_

_Partly_, I responded, having adjusted to my dual status some years ago. _And now you must enter the healing trance._

_I am … afraid_, Suvak admitted. _I don't want to die. I want to marry T'Pel. I want to tell my friends that we have been wrong. Offworlders are not inferior — just different._

_You're not going to die_, I projected as firmly as I could. _You don't think you're the first person I've helped, do you? Just listen to me, and you will get well again._

_I will … try_, he acquiesced hesitantly.

_Good._ I took a deep breath, then forced my mind to go blank, absorbing the pain of his wounds as best I could.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

How long I remained with young Suvak, I have no idea, but I eventually became aware of my husband's presence.

My head pounded and my entire body ached. I was lying on something soft and I couldn't feel the heat of the sun. I opened my eyes a crack, slamming them shut against the glare of a light. "Hey," I muttered.

"Charlotte," he replied.

"Storel; where is he?" I rasped. God, my throat hurt!

"Stepn has taken him home," Sutak replied. "I could not break the meld and had to bring you to the hospital with Suvak."

"Suvak!" I lurched up from what I now realized was a hospital bed. "Is he …?".

"He is doing well," Sutak said. "He regained consciousness several days ago, and the doctors are confident that he will make a full recovery."

"Several days?" I blinked at my husband. "How long have I been out of it?"

"Three weeks, six days and four hours," Sutak responded.

"What; no minutes and seconds?" I teased, but my heart wasn't in it. "Why … what happened to me?"

"Perhaps T'Para can explain it better." Sutak dipped his head to the older woman.

"We are pleased to see that you have recovered," she said. "Your empathic abilities have grown immeasurably, but you are in danger of losing yourself. You will need tutoring in the art of divorcing your emotions from the act of healing."

"But … isn't that illogical?" I blurted out. "If I can't feel someone's pain, how can I heal them?"

"People on your homeworld believe psychiatrists and doctors should not bond emotionally with their patients as they lose objectivity," T'Para shot back. "The principle is the same."

"Yeah, but I'm not a doctor or a shrink," I protested. "I can't cut off my emotions — it may work for Vulcans, but it doesn't for me."

"Until you have learned to control your skill, it will be safer if you do not attempt another healing meld unless I am there," T'Para said. "You are highly skilled, and it is illogical to put someone with your talent in danger. Will you consent to lessons with L'Dir and the adepts?"

"Huh?" I said blankly. "I told you years ago I didn't want to be a Healer — my decision stands."

"You are already a Healer," T'Para pointed out. "You made that decision the day my husband died."

"T'Para is correct," Sutak put in quietly. "If you will stop fighting it, you will see the logic."

"But … I …". I trailed off at the look on his face. Part of him — a small part — rebelled against this as much as I did. Yet he seemed to believe that it was the best thing for me. True, my job as an administrator hardly left me fulfilled — it bored the hell out of me, actually — but considering that everything else about my life was so good, I had no right to complain.

"You should not make a decision of this magnitude quickly," T'Para said, interrupting my brooding silence. "In the meantime, we have some good news for you. Storel was the victor of the _Kahs-wan_."

"He was? But, he didn't finish it!" I said, lurching up once more and being bodily restrained by Sutak. At any other time, I might have enjoyed a little wrestling match. Vulcans didn't make love only during _pon farr_, and my husband tapped a passion I'd never known I'd possessed. But I wasn't exactly healthy right now.

"He risked his life for another," Sutak pointed out. "Ambassador Soval and the other judges were most impressed at his nobility."

"Especially from a part human, I'll bet," I muttered snidely. "You know something? I'm hungry."

"I will summon an orderly," T'Para said, moving gracefully out of the room, with a speed no sixty year old human possessed. Of course, by Vulcan standards, sixty wasn't even middle-aged yet.

After she had gone, I touched my fingers to Sutak's. "Is she right?" I said.

After more than a decade of marriage, Sutak had learned to follow my train of thought. "She is correct about the danger you face without training, but the decision to become a Healer is not one I can make."

"Fat lot of help you are," I grumbled, shooting him a wicked grin.


	12. The Captain's Table IV

**12 — The Captain's Table IV**

The old lady tugged an old-fashioned chronometer from out of a well-concealed pocket. "Oh, would you look at the time! I'm going to have to go," she said. She finished off the last of her Altair water, then got up.

"Old woman; you have not finished your story," Hompaq said.

Charlotte shrugged her shoulders, not intimidated by Hompaq's growl. "I'll come back and finish it. Time's meaningless here, isn't it?" Mischief filled her eyes, then she put out her hand to Picard's. "I thought there was something odd about Will, Deanna and Beverly. You're not from my time."

He clasped the small hand. "No," he admitted reluctantly.

"Oh, don't worry; I'm not going to ask where my grave is," Charlotte said. "Better things to worry about." She squeezed his hand, then looked sad. "I'm so sorry for your loss," she added softly.

Picard managed a small smile. "Thank you," he said.

Charlotte shook Janeway's hand. "Take care, Admiral," she added. "I'd like to hear one of your stories next time we're in here."

Janeway smiled, unsure whether or not she actually believed this tale of Charlotte's. She looked entirely human, despite some Vulcan mannerisms. "How do we know you were telling the truth?"

Charlotte chuckled. "You don't," she said. "If nothing else, think of it as a way to while away a cold wet afternoon in San Francisco." Then she reached over to clasp Hompaq's arm. "_Qapla_, Hompaq."

"_Qapla_," Hompaq replied.

Then Charlotte Logan walked to the door, opened it and stepped out into the rain.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I sighed as I pulled the hood of my robe over my head. One thing I'd definitely not missed about America was the rain. I turned the corner and saw young T'Pol standing in a doorway against the rain, looking as unhappy as a Vulcan ever did.

The Vulcan had been back on Earth a couple of months after _Enterprise_'s temporary return to Earth following the horrific attack by the Xindi, and would ship out again shortly. No-one in Starfleet had liked the idea of putting a Vulcan on the _Enterprise_ as a senior officer, but the young woman had learned to work well with the primarily human crew.

She'd spent a good deal of time with Soval before coming to Earth, and had imbibed some of his attitude toward humans, although she had a better sense of humor. I'd witnessed her interaction with Captain Archer as they stood outside Klaang's isolation bay, and had snickered to myself, musing on the chemistry the two had shown.

After all, T'Pol was a beautiful young woman and Archer a handsome man. I might be old, but I wasn't dead yet — I could recognize an attractive man. And, as I knew only too well, inter-species romance was not only possible, but could be very successful.

"Have you decided yet?" I asked. T'Pol had been recalled to Vulcan by the High Command while the _Enterprise_ would head out to the Delphic Expanse to search out the Xindi. I'd cautioned them against this — after all, so many vessels had been lost there — but Captain Archer had dismissed my concerns.

T'Pol wore a very faint troubled frown. "I find myself … torn," she admitted. "My first duty is to the High Command, yet …". She emitted a tiny sigh. "Where do you wish to go now, T'Sai Charlotte?" she added politely.

So much like her grandmother. "Let's go somewhere warm, huh?" I said, then my eyes widened as I saw a familiar figure approach. "Sutak," I breathed.

"Indeed," T'Pol said, raising a delicate eyebrow. "I knew that you would … wish to be together to attend the memorial for those whose lives were lost."

And who said Vulcans have no emotions? Even before my marriage to Sutak, I'd never bought that line. "Thank you, T'Pol," I said.

"I will go back to the embassy," T'Pol said, dipping her head politely. She walked away and exchanged greetings with my husband of over eighty years.

His hair was still thick, although tinged with gray, and his features as handsome as ever. He had filled out a little as the years had passed and was now in early middle age. Yet he drew the eye of many a passing woman. There was something magnetic about the quiet Vulcans to humans; maybe it was the idea of so much pent-up passion, the volcano under a thin layer of ice.

"_T'hy'la_," he said, extending two fingers outward.

"_T'hy'la_," I replied, brushing his fingers with mine. "It's good to see you again."

An eyebrow tilted. "It has only been two of your weeks," he pointed out.

I shrugged — as I'd gotten older, I'd become much more comfortable with displaying my very human characteristics. "So, call me a hopeless sap and have done with it," I replied. "I'm not too proud to admit I missed you."

Sutak's eyes softened and a tiny smile tugged at his lips. "I missed you also, my wife," he acknowledged. "The house is much … quieter without your presence."

I paused, trying to decide if that was a compliment. I decided it wasn't, and decided to ignore it.

"I hope you have managed to occupy yourself with something other than … sappy thoughts," Sutak teased gently.

"Oh yes," I returned as we made our way along the sidewalk to the shuttle terminal. "Next time we're on Earth, Sutak, remind me to take you to a little place called The Captain's Table. I have some debts to settle."

**THE END**

* * *

_A/N: I know T'Pol ended up with Trip, but I thought there was greater chemistry between her and Archer — particularly in the early days. If I 'shipped' for Trek characters, I would ship for these two. Just my humble opinion!_


	13. Timeline

**13 — Timeline**

**1948** — Three aliens are captured by American forces and held at Area 51 for several days before escaping. All records are destroyed and the government denies the story, but conspiracy theorists question the veracity of their account. (**Little Green Men: DS9**)

**1957** — The Russians launch Sputnik III. During that time, the small American town of Carbon Creek receives three visitors, who stay for several months. Two leave but one, a man named Mestral, stays. (**Carbon Creek: ENT**)

**1967** — Captain John Christopher of the United States Air Force witnesses a UFO sighting (the _Enterprise_ carrying out historical research). (**Tomorrow Is Yesterday: TOS)**

**2028** — Sutak is born to Soran and T'Kara.

**2040 **— Charlotte Logan is born to Brian Logan and Juanita dos Santos.

**2046** — The Third World War begins and rages for five years, destroying entire cities and killing billions.

**2058** — Brian Logan dies, and his daughter moves to Montana. She is extremely sensitive to other people's emotions and therefore chooses to isolate herself.

**2063** — **April:** One of the small Montana colonies is attacked by some unknown faction. Several strangers arrive to help repair a spaceship created by eccentric scientist Zefram Cochrane. The ship is launched and humanity makes first official contact with an alien race, the Vulcans (**First Contact**). Charlotte Logan befriends Sutak, the Captain of the Vulcan ship. During a visit to his ship, it is hijacked by a splinter group known as the Rihannsu. **May:** Sutak and Charlotte are rescued by another Vulcan ship and are taken back to the Vulcan homeworld. Sutak is given command of another ship and leaves Vulcan almost immediately. Charlotte begins to assimilate to life on Vulcan, finding a peace that she had never known before. **July:** Sutak returns from his mission and both experience a deepening of their relationship. They visit the High Priestess and are bonded telepathically several days later. **September:** Sutak returns from another offworld mission and completes the bonding with his wife. At this time, she learns that she is part Vulcan.

**2064** — **February:** Charlotte Logan meets Lela Dax, a woman from a planet called Trill, and they form an immediate friendship. **July:** Zefram Cochrane and Lily Sloane visit Vulcan as part of the growing friendship between the two races. Charlotte gives birth — they name the child Storel Michael.

**2071** — Storel is bonded to T'Mina, and one of Sutak's former officers makes a telepathic pass at Charlotte.

**2074** — Storel participates in the Kahs-wan ritual — a survival test — which he wins. Solkar (brother to T'Mina) takes a mate and produces a son, Skon. Relations with Earth progress and Zefram Cochrane's team produces Earth's first Warp Two ship.

**2094** — Storel and T'Mina are married. Charlotte Logan joins the Vulcan High Command and serves on the _Seleya_ as an Ensign.

**2097** — Charlotte Logan is promoted to the position of Lieutenant and takes a posting on the _Intrepid_. Storel and T'Mina have their first child — a girl named T'Prynn.

**2117** — T'Prynn visits Earth to study her grandmother's heritage. Whilst in England, she meets a human woman named Catherine. They form a close and tender bond, and move in with each other.

**2120** — The _Intrepid_ — now under the command of Charlotte Logan — escorts Ambassador Soval and various dignitaries to Earth for the dedication of the Warp Five complex in Montana.

**2151** — The first Earth starship, _Enterprise_, launches ahead of schedule to return a wounded Klingon to his home planet. (**Broken Bow: ENT**)

**2241** — During the battle of Donatu V, Charlotte Logan is killed. Her husband dies shortly thereafter, due to the abrupt severing of their marriage bond.

**2245** — The _USS Enterprise NCC-1701_ is launched, with Captain Robert April at the helm.

**2263** — Two hundred years after first contact between humans and Vulcans, the _Enterprise_ comes under the command of James T. Kirk and Spock, son of Sarek; son of Skon; son of Solkar. (**Where No Man Has Gone Before: TOS**)

**2267** — The Vulcan starship _USS Intrepid_ is destroyed by a giant space-borne amoeba, killing all 400 Vulcans aboard. (**The Immunity Syndrome: TOS**)

**2305** — Jean-Luc Picard is born in Labarre, France, to Maurice Picard and Yvette Gessard Picard.

**2364** — Jean-Luc Picard takes command of the fifth Starfleet vessel to bear the name _Enterprise_. (**Encounter At Farpoint: TNG**)

**2371** — Captain Kathryn Janeway accepts command of the Starfleet vessel _Voyager_. During a mission to the Badlands to flush out the renegade Maquis, her ship is flung over 70,000 light years into the Delta Quadrant. (**Caretaker: VOY**)

**2378** — The _USS Voyager_ returns home after seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Janeway is promoted to the Admiralty. (**Endgame: VOY**)

**2379** — Nearly two years after the safe return of the _USS Voyager_, Admiral Janeway assigns the _USS Enterprise NCC-1701-E_ to Romulan space for a mission of reconciliation, during which Picard's up and coming First Officer Lieutenant Commander Data is destroyed (**Nemesis**). After the mission, Picard and Janeway meet up on Risa to toast Data's memory and visit The Captain's Table.


End file.
